Thoughts of a Butterfly

We've Moved!

2008-10-30T20:59:00.006-05:00

Yes, it's true. I have moved the blog!

It's not hard to find the new one though:

http://blog.richarddedor.com

That's right! It's on my own site now, with a whole new design!

The content will remain about the same, but it's going to grow into something awesome! Be sure to come over to the new site and bookmark it. I'm not moving again!

Come on Over!
http://blog.richarddedor.com

Focus On You ... Passion! (v1n26)

2008-10-23T01:12:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
You may not have money, but as long as you have your education & your health... you will survive.
-This Life Lesson was submitted anonymously

Richard's Thoughts...
I know the last few weeks have been tough on all of us. We've all been affected by the craziness that has become our economy. But no matter how bad it has gotten or will get, you always have you! That is something that no one will ever be able to take away.

You have your degree. You have your families. Most importantly though: you have your passion! That is the one thing each of us has that always shines through the storm.

Don't let your passion slide away in this rainstorm. Let it beam brightly to everyone around you! If you can't think of your big passion - now is the time to find one!

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Focus On You ... Re-Connect! (v1n25)

2008-10-16T06:15:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Stay in touch – call when you say you’re going to.
-Jennifer E's life lesson from Tama, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
I know we all get busy... those lists just never seem to get shorter, just longer. Now more than ever we see people moving more often, even if it is from job to job in the same city. As that happens more and more, we're bound to expand our social network exponentially.

View this as a blessing. Your friends, your network are there to support you. To pick you up in stressful days and long battles.

Take time today... make the time to get in touch with someone you haven't in weeks... or years! It will make both of your days!

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Focus On You ... Others! (v1n24)

2008-10-09T06:14:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Putting the needs of others before yours will pay you back sometime in the future.
-Michael M's life lesson from Marshalltown, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
I often speak about how we don't do enough for ourselves and I still believe that is true. How often do you take time for something you really enjoy? Well, now is the time to do something for someone else!

Just imagine the impact we can all have if you take two minutes today and ask the person in the office next to yours, "Is there anything I can do for you today?" Or by just dropping a note in someone's mailbox.

You have the power to make someone's day. Make sure it's a positive impact!

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No On Prop 8!

2008-10-07T18:20:00.008-05:00

I know with the economy, money is tight. I also don't ask for much from my readers. But I have a huge favor to ask.

In less than 30 days, quite possibly, the potential for me to marry will be decided by the state of California. A win could spark court challenges all across the country. A wave which until now has been a dream. A loss could mean new laws on the books, court cases thrown out; especially now with precedent against marriage equality.

This is our moment. This is our chance. It is within our grasp and we must not let this moment pass us by.

I ask two things.

First - if you know people in California, PLEASE ask them to oppose Proposition 8. If passed, the following statement will be added to the California State Constitution: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." We cannot let that happen. Please make sure your friends get out and vote against this terrible piece of law.

Second - The NoOnProp8 campaign needs funds. They are currently being outspent by $10 million. The hearts and minds of people are being won with false information and we have to help. I have started and I may add to my donation in the coming days. Please give if you can. The polling numbers have started to shift against our cause. Against equal rights. We cannot let it happen.

Even if you don't live in California, this will affect the entire United States. Please do what you can to ensure the right to marry for all.

Thank-You.

Moonlight

2008-10-05T21:00:00.003-05:00

My Flickr Album

Lasers - Oh My!

2008-10-02T21:28:00.004-05:00

I stumbled upon a hilarious website today. I think anyone in the 25-20 year old range will remember these photos... perhaps you still have one.

For those younger... count yourself blessed. Seriously.

Focus On You ... Grateful! (v1n23)

2008-10-02T07:40:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Be grateful for what you have,
forget about the things that you don’t.
-submitted by Kathy D. of Marshalltown, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Last week we took stock of the things around us... nature. What a great thing it is when we actually stop to "smell the roses." Sometimes when we do that, we can get caught up in a daydream of things we don't have that we want. I believe that it's okay to get lost in the daydream. The problem arises when you get sad and depressed over those things you don't have.

Who wouldn't want to live in the mansion in town? Or have the brand new HDTV? Or win an Oscar? (That last one is a far-fetched dream of mine!) My point this week is pretty simple:

Give thanks more than once a year. Count your blessings this week and let those around you know you're thankful for them. They make you... you! It's YOU that is special.

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2034... here we come!

2008-09-27T08:16:00.001-05:00

Today my dad celebrates his 50th birthday! He will ring in the annual event with a close group of friends and his three children and his first grandchild at his side. This celebration in life got me thinking... what will my party be like on January 12, 2034?

I took the liberty to tell you about it:

Since I love cake... there will be a massive one. It will be a major extravaganza! Contrary to popular belief, while I do like small birthday gatherings (just ask Marissa, Evan & Nathanael), at 50... throw away my rules and have a ho-down! Party hats an all!

If there are presents, I will take them in stride. That's not why we're here. We're here to celebrate the wonderful life of me! Of course, by now I have served on a city council and made a run for governor, but lost in a close battle. Who knows if I'll run again. (I say that every time I lose and then I end up running again.)

I've also written four books. One is on chasing your dreams which I self-published in 2009. The next book was a fiction book about a gay teenager... yada yada yada... you've probably heard the line before. 'Cept this one had a twist and while it doesn't sell millions, I touched lives. The third book... well, I have no idea what that one was, but I know I wrote it. Same with the fourth. The fourth one I'd been dreaming of for 30 years, so I wrote it pretty quickly.

Of course there are a lot of people there too. I've made many friends along the way. I've needed them for support and guidance and I know I stood on their shoulders to go after my dreams.

I'm also of course a full-time speaker now. What a magnificent ride it was getting there. Who knew back in 2007 when I started chasing that goal I would end up with a career?! I mean - - seriously!

The Oval Office is still a dream, but I love sharing it with my two wonderful kids. And then, there he is. The guy who has been with me through it all. It was you the moment I saw you.

The more I think about what that party will be like, it doesn't matter. It's those people sitting right next to you. It's the journey to get there. It's all the hugs, the tears, the joys, the upsets. That's what makes 50, 50.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Focus On You ... Live! (v1n22)

2008-09-25T07:10:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Take time each day to listen quietly and hear the sounds of nature, feel the gentle breeze and gaze at the stars.
-submitted by Lori B. of Waterloo, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
It's officially the fall! Wow - - summer really flew by and before we know it, the temperatures will start to cool and Halloween will be here... then Thanksgiving... then... Christmas!

Don't get me wrong, I love - - absolutely love this time of year! The friends, the family, and of course... the food!

Before your schedule starts to get packed and you don't feel like you have the time, take time the rest of this week to listen to the world around you. Feel the world moving slowly. See the joy on the streets. Mostly... just live!

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Cookin' In The Oven

2008-09-21T12:48:00.003-05:00

Love is amazing! No doubt about it.

A few months ago two amazing things happened in a matter of an hour. I was on a walk with Nathanael in Cincinnati. We had just stopped at Starbucks to get drinks for our walk (seriously... what else could a person want?) and we started walking.

Well, my phone rang and it was one of my best friends, Todd. Under usual circumstances I wouldn't have answered it, but it was during the Iowa floods this spring and he was in the path of one of the rivers, so I worriedly answered it. But it was great news.

Only Todd will tell me the following news by using a joke. Apparently he and his wife Shanna had something "cooking in the over." Me being slower than most to pick up on the innuendo, was like, "great... I should let you go then, right?" He just laughed. Then it clicked.

Todd and Shanna are going to be amazing parents. When I looked at Nathanael and told him, he flipped out! He was more excited than I was. After getting all the details, we continued our walk with a little more pep in our step.

We stopped at the athletic center on campus and we noticed something weird going on in the pool. There was a lone person running around... dropping a floaty into the water... then running away... then running back. We wondered if we witness to the crime of the century. Okay, that was our imagination at work.

Then the guy left. We hurriedly went to the front door hoping the mystery man would be coming out. I told Nathanael he'd have to ask what was going on. I was certainly running away if it we had witnessed the crime of the century. But no. It was the sweetest ending to a great walk.

The mystery man said, "I'm proposing to my girlfriend tonight." And of course, the ring was attached to the floaty. We both just smiled. We were floating on air all the way back to the apartment.

From our friends having a baby (due on December 22) to this random couple starting their lives together. A great evening... complete with Starbucks.

Focus On You ... Importance! (v1n21)

2008-09-18T08:18:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
I am not the most important person.
-submitted by Michelle B. from Kansas City, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
Yesterday I had the great fortune to be the closing speaker at the Iowa Family Planning Update Conference in Des Moines, Iowa. Every time I go on stage to speak, I of course shake off the nerves and perform... that's my job! It can be nerve-raking because everyone's eyes are on you... at that moment, you are the most important person in the room.

But these folks proved me wrong. The work they are doing is much more important than the 60 minutes I was able to share with them. They are in the trenches changing the world. I applaud them. Each and every one of us changes the world each and every day. We are all important!

Never ever forget that! You are the most
important person in the world to someone.

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Focus On You ... Respect! (v1n20)

2008-09-11T08:16:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Accept people right where they are.
-submitted by Judy S. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Not only do we need to spend time respecting others, often times... we don't even respect ourselves! Think about it...

Have no idea what I'm talking about? Think about how you talk to yourself. Do you say, "I'm dumb." "How could I be so stupid?" "Idiot." I am not ashamed to say I too have said all three of those things to myself on more than one occasion. My point is simple: Stop talking down to yourself! You've earned the respect of others... and most certainly you've earned your own!

Respect yourself today by taking five minutes off from the real world. Respect others today by giving them five minutes of your time.

Enjoy today... it's yours!

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Rocky Mountain High

2008-09-09T20:10:00.000-05:00

What a great vacation... here are a few pictures! To see the whole gallery, visit my Flickr Album.

Man and Boy

2008-09-06T19:39:00.004-05:00

I had my heart set on something different. I left crying in a crowded coffee shop. My coffee shop. On the outside I can sometimes be seen as hard and insensitive. That might be even a little harsh coming from me, but I know I can be stoic. That's a much better word from an overly critical chap like myself.

On the inside, like many men before me, I am soft at heart. That's right, I said it: I'm a softy. I don't find that to be a burden. I find it a blessing. And a curse as it left me crying in front of 30 strangers.

A little more than a week ago I went to my local library, card in hand ready to pick up a book I'd wanted to read for months and had carefully reserved two days before. I arrived at the front desk. "Sorry, that book appears to be missing."

Well crap. I didn't have any other book on my plate that I was really passionate about. So, I did something I hadn't done since I was a kid. I started browsing. I went to the fiction section looking for something that would catch my interest enough to warrant my attention. What I found was a book worthy of my tears.

Man and Boy (Tony Parsons) is a book that I strongly urge all men and most women to read.

For the men, you'll be tugged at what we all know is coming, or for some, what has already passed: a mid-life crisis. The main character Harry, who even as a fellow man I hated for a time starts going through his crisis just as his son is turning four. What transpires is the story of three men.

Three generations of males. One man and two children. All will change your hearts and pull you to tears.

At the end, you are left wondering why and how the story ends the way it does. How can this man who gave up so much end up with something totally unexpected and less than desired?

It seemed unfair and it required me re-reading the final 20 pages to even grasp the meaning. I may never understand. Maybe it's not for me to understand. Love is the most powerful thing in this world and while parts of this book may be overly predictable, the amount of caring you have for Harry becomes something that will consume you.

Man and Boy will become a part of you long after you put the book down. So grab a cup of tea and indulge yourself in a story of love, heartache and a lifetime of mistakes. And be a man about it and cry. Love means letting go of yourself.

You may not understand that line... but you will.

Focus On You ... Appreciate! (v1n19)

2008-09-04T19:40:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Life is very short. Take the time to acknowledge and extend appreciation for others.
-submitted by Lauri H. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Well, I'm back from vacation - - and what a vacation it was. I was able to spend two days in the Rocky Mountains, enjoying the sights and sounds of the earth... and maybe a coffee or two! I also spent time in Denver enjoying those around me.

I acknowledged the need to relax and enjoy life and I urge you all to do the same. We're about to head into the quick holiday season now that Labor Day is behind us and before you know it, Thanksgiving will be here... Yikes!

Enjoy today... it's yours!

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Focus On You ... You! (v1n18)

2008-08-28T19:35:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Put some $ away for a rainy day.
-submitted by Kris T. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
I'm on vacation! I have saved and now I'm on vacation. I'm on a 'rainy week!' I will be using my time away from phone calls, emails and text messages to re-energize my life. I can't wait for the things I'm going to learn and experience!

It doesn't require a huge vacation, but take care of you. Spend on you! Get that extra Skinny Vanilla Latte with two pumps sugar-free hazelnut.

We all work too hard. Go jump in the rain and get wet! Enjoy you today!

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One World. One Dream.

2008-08-24T21:59:00.002-05:00

Years ago, when Juan Antonio Samaranch was president of the International Olympic Committee, each games would be proclaimed “the best games ever,” at its conclusion.

When Jacques Rogge took over the presidency, he vowed to stop that tradition. Each Olympics was to be special in their own right and would, through history, be honored and remembered for what it was.

No matter your politics, whether you watched these games or boycotted, whether you watched religiously every night, or had simple, passing glances, these games will not be the best ever. But, they were pretty damn good when it comes to the athletes.

The lead-up to the Games had this story:

Eric Shanteau was going to be competing with cancer. Oh no, not as a survivor of cancer. He has cancer. Just a little over a month ago, Shanteau was informed that he had cancer. He had a choice: Start treatment immediately and forgo his dream of being an Olympian – or – have the doctors watch the cancer and prepare to compete but knowing he’d quit and start treatment if the cancer started to spread.

His dad said, “You have cancer, it doesn’t have you.”

So he went. He came to Beijing to compete and live. Live his life and live out his dream. He finished sixth in the 200m breaststroke, missing the finals. It doesn’t matter. He lived his gold medal.

Obviously, Michael Phelps’ story is well known. What an experience I had watching the seventh and eighth races. For the seventh, I was at a restaurant in Bricktown (Oklahoma City) and all of a sudden, the patrons got quiet and we all turned to the one television in the place. When the race was over, and Phelps’ name was number one, the place erupted. Then one night later, at a different restaurant on a lake, watching a television 70 feet away, our table watched as Phelps swam the third leg in the 4 x 100, the team winning the gold medal; Phelps reaching eight. Again, the restaurant celebrated.

Then there was 55kg wrestler, Henry Cejudo: the ultimate American story. You see, Cejudo is a symbol of hope. At just 21 and having lived in almost 50 cities as a young child, he has given hope to those who are where he was just 15 years ago. He father died when he was seven and his mother worked for $7 an hour.

The first time he slept alone in his own bed was when he got his bunk bed when he arrived at the U.S. Olympic training facility.

"I'm the America," Cejudo said phonetically drawing out the E sound in "the" until a little word sounded as big as the American dream. "I just won a gold medal for the United States. When you win a gold medal for your country, you're like the Statue of Liberty."

Just a month before the Olympics, Australian diver, Matthew Mitcham blazed the cover of The Advocate, a leading gay publication. He was coming out of the closet. The news was received pretty well. Mitcham was one of only ten out athletes at these games, and the only male.

He dove terribly in the men’s 3m springboard and many critics wrote him off: coming out so close to the Olympics was a mistake they said.

But then something crazy happened. He relaxed and just dove… from 10m high. He was 35 points behind Zhou Luxin going into the sixth and final dive Saturday night. The dive was nearly perfect. He scored an unbelievable 112.10 to win by just over three points. He cried. Luxin cried.

“It’s absolutely surreal. I never though that this would be possible,” Mitcham said.

You can say China was wrong to have these games. It’s an argument that has some legs.

You can say China went back in time – and not forward by hosting these games. That also has some legs.

The Associated Press wrote on Saturday:

"This one single event is not enough" to close the gaps, said Victor Yuan, chairman of Horizon Group, a research and polling company in Beijing. Yuan said the government, however, is convinced that the games began changing foreign minds about China. […] "People now realize it's not such a simple matter. It's not just like opening the door and inviting guests in," said Luo, the image expert. "China's road to the future will be long."

The Olympics over, it's now time for the world to keep their eye on China. They have a lot of work to do. History will judge these games in 50 years by how open China becomes. I only hope I wasn’t wrong.

Beyond the politics, these games, any Olympics show us something. They show heart and pride. Love and hope. Each time we see the flame lit, we are ignited with hope of a better tomorrow. The flame off now at the Bird’s Nest, but the flame lives in us, in humanity. It lives in hope, belief and love.

Focus On You ... Seize It! (v1n17)

2008-08-21T19:34:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Carpe Diem! Don’t ever let a moment pass!
-submitted by Jamie C. from St. Louis, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
I think you all know this life lesson. Dream it and do it, I say! That's why I started this Life Lesson newsletter. I know all of us, deep down want to affect people around us in a positive way.

Now, not only can you do that by sharing a lesson of yours, but you can also learn from others each and every week. I love putting this together and sharing my passion with you all. I have seized the day!

Seize today! Seize everyday! Share this message with a friend by forwarding this email (the link is at the bottom left of this email) and sharing this lesson. Then its time to go after your dream!

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Focus On You ... Dream It - Live It! (v1n16)

2008-08-14T19:31:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Never let anyone discourage you from attempting your dream.
-submitted by Pamela E. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Last Saturday night I was bored and started to channel-surf and I landed on the Little League World Series' Great Lakes Division Championship. It was tied after six innings. It was tied after seven. It didn't end until 11 innings had been played and the kids were up well past their bedtimes.

The game was amazing. I played baseball when I was young and as with most young athetes, its the dream to make it to the World Series. The kids on both teams played their hearts out. In fact, Ben Shahroudi of the Jeffersonville, Indiana, team played with a nose that had been broken in four places the night before. Talk about going after a dream. It's not important who won the game.

As the summer ends and fall begins, go after a dream of yours and live it!

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Swirls

2008-08-11T19:16:00.000-05:00

Focus On You ... Forgive! (v1n15)

2008-08-07T08:22:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Forgive rather than hate. Let go of your pain in order to free your soul. Respect your needs & others & live your life to the fullest for all.
-submitted by Maggie H. from Kansas City, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
All too often we get bogged down in our own frustrations and our own anger. Yet that is something we control. There are of course times when anger and frustrations are warranted, but we can't let it control us.

When we find it within us to let go of the frustrations within, you find you set yourself free.

Today's lesson: Let it go! Of course you can do it! Find something you've let fester and set yourself free!

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Focus On You ... Help! (v1n14)

2008-07-31T10:11:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
It’s okay to ask for help.
-submitted by Tracy W. of Riverside, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
I'm pretty sure we all believe that, but how often do we actually listen to that phrase when our body or our heart tells us to?

Last week I had to ask for help. A few weeks ago I had an accident while working out and I thought treating it on my own was the best course of action. I was wrong. A week ago I couldn't move my arm, let alone my head without wanting to scream in pain. So, I asked for help.

I know it's hard to ask for help. I don't like to. But its important for our personal and professional success. Find something today you have been putting off or just haven't finished and ask for help. Not only will you grow but you will be liberating yourself as well.

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Mr. Happy

2008-07-28T10:00:00.000-05:00

Larry Haugness with some choice words for the World TeamTennis official.

A Company of Teddy Love

2008-07-27T14:10:00.002-05:00

With the vast array of my readership from all across the country and even some across the ponds, I can't assume you heard much, if any about the floods this spring in Iowa. For those of you who did, you know the floods were devastating.

They hit the town I grew up in, the town I went to college in and the town my sister and my niece live. I could go into a ton of details, but the short story is that my sister lost virtually everything in the flooding. She wasn't insured for such an event as she wasn't in the flood plain. It wasn't expected, it wasn't prepared for.

When I was a little boy, my great-grandparents experienced such a fate, but that didn't affect me like this. I've never known anyone to lose the battle to a hurricane, a flood or a tornado. That all changed this spring.

I felt terrible not being able to help, but I quickly found a way. I would help rebuild.

This past Christmas I bought my niece a teddy bear from Build-a-Bear. I chose them because I know they are a quality product and because the bear I have is from there and I thought my niece should have one that my bear is related to.

Sadly, the bear was lost in the flooding.

A week after they cleaned about my sister's house, I called Build-a-Bear and spoke to a representative there at Bearquarters about the situation. Matt, the gentleman who assisted me set it up so I could pick up a replacement bear where I'd purchased the first one: free of charge.

It was hard to keep it a secret that I'd been able to get this new bear... but delivering the bear to my niece was worth the wait. Her friend was back.

Thank-you to a company who is about love. Teddy love.

First Gay Marriage in Kansas

2008-07-26T00:11:00.001-05:00

Lawrence, Kan. - - 1,800 miles. A two-hour flight. Nine years. Those numbers signify the distance Lawrence residents Mike Silverman and Dave Greenbaum had to travel to become legally married.

With the recent decision by the California Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage, Silverman and Greenbaum knew right away that they were going to become legally married.

The journey began over 12 years ago when Silverman was a student at the University of Kansas and Greenbaum was going to law school. Silverman’s roommate introduced them because they were both Mac computer lovers. They became quick friends. However, they didn’t immediately come out to each other.

“We’d been dating the whole time and didn’t know it,” Greenbaum said. “It was great because we started out as great friends. We could take the relationship to the next level.”

After dating for a few years, Greenbaum had a realization: they’d been living together for awhile and he said to Silverman, “If we were a straight couple, we’d probably be married by now.” Silverman agreed.

Soon thereafter, they married in a traditional Jewish wedding in Omaha, Neb.

“We found the Jewish community to be pretty open minded,” Greenbaum said. “I’ve always wanted to have a Jewish wedding. So, we asked.”

To their surprise, after meeting with the Rabi, who has the sole discretion of religious ceremonies performed in their synagogues, the marriage was approved.

Part of their marriage in traditional Judaism was having a ketubah which stated the couple would need to seek ‘any and all recognition of their relationship.’ Up until a month ago, that wasn’t possible.

“I was at work and something came across the screen that the California Supreme Court had overturned gender exclusive marriage,” Greenbaum said, who immediately called Silverman.

“By the time he’d called, I’d already started making reservations to go,” Silverman said. Having already been married in the eyes of the church for nine years, the trip to California was somewhat anticlimactic. But that didn’t stop the couple from enjoying the moment. Standing in line, filling out the paperwork and talking with other couples from all over the state were all just a part of a moment of making history.

They were regarded as the first out-of-state couple to get married, and thus the first married gay couple in Kansas. But that’s not the focus Silverman and Greenbaum want to take.

The couple wants to turn this story away from a same-sex marriage story to a simple love story: One person taking care of another for a lifetime.

“I tell other couples to really take advantage of this,” Silverman said. “There is something different about a state office pronouncing you married. It’s sort of a magical thing.”

Greenbaum agreed. “Despite the Missouri and Kansas Constitutions which don’t allow state recognition of our marriage, it shouldn’t deter other couples from that recognition. They will get protections abroad and it also doesn’t mean your family and friends won’t recognize it. Our goal is the day when people say, ‘What’s the big deal?’”

This article was published in the July 2008 issue of Liberty Press.

Focus On You ... Fun! (v1n13)

2008-07-24T05:26:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Even though people grow older, that does not mean that people must grow up. View the world through the eyes of a child. Never lose a sense of fun.
-submitted by Andrew S. from St. Louis, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
Two weeks ago we talked about 'little things' in life and how they are, when we take a breath, the most important things in life.

It was a great joy to read the email responses from that message. I even received photos of some subscribers' 'little things'.

If you remember your little thing spend some more time on it, or a different little thing you're been neglecting. More importantly, have fun!

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Focus On You ... Life! (v1n12)

2008-07-17T05:09:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
There is a mystery to life. You don’t always understand it and that’s okay. Enjoy the mystery... and life.
-submitted by Susan G. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Why do fools fall in love? (or so says the movie)

This weekend I will be on vacation spending it with old friends and a wedding! There is nothing more powerful in this world than love. So love life. Enjoy your life.

I will spend my weekend enjoying life. What are you going to do?

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Focus On You ... Little Things! (v1n11)

2008-07-10T07:00:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
It’s the little things in life.
-submitted by Maria D. of Raytown, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
Ah - the little things. Sometimes we lose sight of those things... the things that make us take a step back and remember what's important.

For me lately it has been my busy schedule that has forced me to take stock of my activities. I've been spending a bit more time on the tennis court which of course has been fun! I've also been writing a bit more and also working on another painting. Those are things that matter a lot to me and give me the energy to do the 'not so little things.' What's your little thing that matters?

Find a little thing that will make you relax, that will make you feel the sun on your face, that will take your breath away. Find it, and do it this week!

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I.want.a.name.to.call.my.own

2008-07-08T17:37:00.001-05:00

Recently, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, better known as ICANN has agreed to open the floodgates to any and all potential domain names. We're all used to the .com, .org, .edu, .biz and now most recently, .mobile. They have all served their purposes. But as the Web became more mainstream and anyone could buy a domain name, everyone and their mother bought a domain name.

I don't have the energy or time to do the research, but how about you venture a guess to how many Websites are owned with www.i(something).com? iBelieve that number has to be in the dozens, if not hundreds. Am iRight? Who knows. One thing is for sure. The moment my mother owns a domain is the moment I pass out from surprise.

For some companies this will be a great thing. For instance, think of a company like Dior. They now own Dior.com and a few others their company is known by. But now, they will be able to own anything-here.dior. It's a monumental decision.

Oh, but wait. Who gets to own .smith? .anderson? Or .isuckatlife? iThink it will only be a matter of time before every conceivable name is taken. Oh, but iDigress.

It's already hard to remember whether a site is a .com, .org, or an .idonthavethefoggiestidea. .com of course.

iCan't even fathom the amount of brain power these new names are going to require of me. Givemeabreak.com already. TheInsanityIsJustBeginning.org. iLove.Starbucks... and I need one now after all this stress iThink.

iGiveup.

Earthy

2008-07-07T17:33:00.001-05:00

I don't usually comment on the Photo of the Week, but I wanted to at least tell you why this is this weeks. After my run on Saturday afternoon, I was walking by this tree which is right behind my apartment. I noticed the bark had been 'shedding' or whatever you might call it... an and it was showing these nice, flat, earthy colors that I wanted to capture. So - there you have it!

Focus On You ... Contribute! (v1n10)

2008-07-03T08:09:00.001-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Everyone has something to contribute.
-submitted by Stacia H. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Tomorrow is the Fourth of July! On this day, we celebrate the creation of the United States and the men and women who have laid the foundation on which we stand today.

But that foundation requires continuous work and cultivation. We can all make a difference in our local communities by contributing. It can be time, talents, money and love.

While enjoying the holiday, please think of ways you can contribute to the betterment of those around you.

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Finding America

2008-06-30T20:12:00.002-05:00

Spending time with friends is the life-blood of the soul. It often replenishes what "the world" takes out of us.

This past weekend I refilled my glass that will keep me going long after I lost sight of their tail-lights. The time spent was unorganized chaos. Visits to the office produced one cheesy picture. Then to the Plaza for great barbecue... of which Gretchen ordered a tad too much for a person of her size. She finished all but one rib... and a bunch of fries.

Of course, we grabbed the bull by the horns, literally and figuratively and ventured into some shopping and random conversations. Oh no, not with each other, with people at Barnes and Noble. Apparently wearing a Gustavus t-shirt means you're Asitha's best friend and he must strike up a conversation with you.

I know this is just a run-down of my weekend. Fun, right? Well, the weekend ended with breakfast at the Waffle House. His choice.

It was one of the highlights of the weekend. We saw America in there. We had the employeees who were working their ass off to serve us a good breakfast and had a great time doing so. You had us, fairly well-off Americans paying 5.50 for breakfast. Then you had families where this would be the best eat-out they'd have. The fun we had gave me hope that America is going to be okay.

This weekend we found our friendship again - renewed in the laughter of random moments and a bottle of Royal Bitch. Oh, it's good to be home again.

A Dream

2008-06-29T21:13:00.002-05:00

Focus Your Life ... SMILE! (v1n9)

2008-06-26T08:10:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Never forget to smile.
-submitted by Mandy M. from Omaha, Nebraska

Richard's Thoughts...
Smiling can be very powerful! However we all live very fast-paced lives and sometimes it almost seems as if smiling becomes too much work. Remember: It's not work! It's fun!

By the end of this upcoming weekend my face will be sore from all my smiling, as my best friend will be visiting and we will undoubtedly spend most of the time laughing and smiling for no reason at all.

Today... for you... SMILE!

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Floating

2008-06-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

Wonders

2008-06-20T19:00:00.000-05:00

A week ago right now I was sitting in the fifth row of the University of Cincinnati's School of Design, Art, Architecture & Planning annual fashion show. What a thrill.

I was there to witness a first: My boyfriend Nathanael had two pieces that were going to be shown. It was his first ever fashion show. The first time his work would go down the runway for hundreds of eyes to see.

We dressed, fashionably of course and made the short walk to the show. If there had been a red carpet, the flashbulbs would have worn out. We looked stunning. A lot of people did. We made our way to the runway, found our seats and got settled in.

I was beyond excited to be there. Not only for Nathanael, but for the first time, I was at a runway show! Halfway through the show, his first piece arrived. My heart was beating much faster than normal and my hands became clammy. It walked in front of my and my eyes never left the piece. I kinda wish I had looked at Nathanael to see his face - a great accomplishment for him. I hope for him it made all the late nights, the early mornings, the bloody fingers worth it.

It was a thrill of a lifetime to be there. I can't wait to see more of his work. I hope one day it is just his work going down the runway. This weekend I go to celebrate a wedding with my family.

I sincerely hope every one of you has the chance to watch the person you love, show their passion to the world. A week ago, I had that experience. Nathanael - Congrats & I love you!

Focus Your Life ... Tomorrow! (v1n8)

2008-06-19T08:09:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Tomorrow is a new day.
-submitted by Lorna T. of Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
Last week we focused on home and how it is where the heart its. It turned out to be a foreshadowing of that day's events. The FOCUS Your Life subscribers are from all across the country, but I'm sure everyone has heard of the flooding that is currently going on in Iowa and now in Illinois and Missouri.

Having led a few workshops in Cedar Rapids, where this week's life lesson comes from, I was especially worried about all the staff at Kirkwood Community College. We always feel for those involved in natural disasters. This disaster has touched my family. My sister, a teacher in Cedar Rapids was evacuated on Wednesday afternoon and by Thursday afternoon her house had become inundated with the flood waters. Home truly is where the heart is and my sister's home is hundreds of people wide filling her life with love and support, as are all the victims of the flooding and vicious storms we've seen this summer.

This week's lesson is to remind us all that tomorrow is another day - and we can control what to do with it and how we feel! I know these events aren't fun and they turn our lives upside down, but positive energy is never far away.

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It Is Finished

2008-06-17T07:32:00.003-05:00

Two years ago today I finally became me. Oh, the journey is really just beginning, but I became me in a way few people ever feel. Two years ago I came out of the closet. There would be no going back.

Since then, much has changed and much has stayed the same. I'm still cynical, overworked, passionate, honest, caring. But I've changed as well. I'm smarter. I now speak out on gay rights as much as I can. I keep my friends closer.

Today I finished the final chapter to a story I have been writing for almost three years. It has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Throughout the journey I've had the great privilege to trade e-mails and stories with hundreds of people from all over the world.

The story, In Pain, is a collaboration of so many different emotions and problems a teenage athlete has with coming to terms with his sexuality. At times it was hard to write - at times easy. It's the nature of writing I suppose. If you're interested, you can read the story at Nifty.org. I am working on getting it published as well, so please stay tuned for that.

Even more exciting today is the journey the United States is on. Today in California, gays can marry! They will forever be recognized by the state as being legally married. This change is slowly going to creep across our land. Over the weekend, Norway became the sixth nation in the world to honor and respect homosexuals by recognizing gay marriage.

A lot of things are changing. Join in the fight for love.

All By Myself

2008-06-16T19:55:00.000-05:00

Focus Your Life ... Your Home! (v1n7)

2008-06-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Home is where the heart is – Everything you do concerns your heart; your heart is developed by experiences involving family, friends, etc.
-submitted by -Jamie D. C. of St. Louis, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
This weekend is Father's Day! Sadly, I won't be able to be with my father until next weekend at my cousin's wedding. Two weeks ago was my niece's second birthday, which I also had to miss. What keeps me going is talking to them on the phone, the pictures of that smiling little girl in my office. It's those small moments where we push aside the world and enjoy the company of those we love that matters.

I hope you all have been able to spend some time with your family and dearest friends in the last week. If not - make an effort to re-connect with your "home." Replenish your heart! Energize your soul! More importantly, energize theirs!

To all you fathers out there: Happy Father's Day!

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Up - Up - Up

2008-06-09T06:01:00.000-05:00

Focus Your Life ... It's Your Choice! (v1n6)

2008-06-05T11:00:00.000-05:00

This Week's Lesson
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Even if everything is going wrong, I can chose to smile.
-submitted by Katherine B. of Wildwood, Missouri

Richard's Thoughts...
I say it in almost every presentation I give: we all have choices in life, but sadly we often give it away to others. Between office politics and fighting with the dog, to working out and your personal passion, we have to constantly remind ourselves we have a choice!

What choices do you have in the coming days that you need to re-think? Or are there choices you have coming up that deserve your attention?

Before the weekend gets here, think of one choice you can make for YOU this weekend - and do it! Cherrio!

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All That Racquet

2008-06-02T17:45:00.006-05:00

Focus Your Life ... Explore! (v1n5)

2008-05-31T14:30:00.002-05:00

If you want this week's FOCUS YOUR LIFE - - please sign up using the form below! It's time to EXPLORE!

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KC Pride Celebrates 30 Years

2008-05-31T13:40:00.001-05:00

Kansas City - - This year Kansas City Gay Pride will celebrate its 30-year anniversary with music performances, a commitment ceremony and various other festivities.

The events, held from May 30-June 1, will again bring together people from all backgrounds and orientations in celebration of the GBLT community. “What started out as a small picnic has grown to include all the many facets of our community,” John Koop, President of KC Pride, said. “[We] come together to celebrate our gifts, talents, accomplishments, losses, and gains.”

As in years past, the entire celebration, from start to finish is free to all participants. The pre-events start May 28 with an interfaith service on May 28^th at Metropolitan Community Church at 7 pm followed by an AIDS Memorial dinner on the 29^th.

The celebration officially starts on Friday when the Street Blast begins at 6pm at 19^th & Main where it will last until midnight and feature world-renowned artist Martha Wash. Wash is best known as one of The Weather Girls, whose international hit It’s Raining Men has become a gay anthem. Last year, over 17,000 people packed the streets for the kickoff event.

The two-day festival, held in Liberty Memorial/Penn Valley Park starts Saturday, May 31 and will bring over 60,000 residents and visitors alike to one location.

“It’s not a party,” Koop said. “This is the only event where every organization comes together and works together. To me it’s a political, educational and celebratory event.”

Saturday will be jam-packed with multiple stage acts beginning at 11 am and going until 10 pm, rain or shine. Coming all the way from Amsterdam is 2Unlimited, the top-performing Eurodance group that was formed in 1991, and has produced hits including Get Ready For This, Twilight Zone and No Limit.

Closing the festival on Sunday will be the DC Cowboys, a gay dancing group from Washington D.C., as well as Deborah Cox.

For the second year, there will be a commitment ceremony held at 3 pm at the main stage. Couples wishing to make the public commitment with their partner should visit the Website and follow the instructions to participate in the ceremony.

“We are all out there and more importantly, it shows we can be out and public,” Koop said.

President of KC Pride for the last five years after volunteering for 15 years prior, Koop continued, “The best message this event sends is that ‘we are here.’”

The Hyatt Regency Crown Center is this year’s host hotel. When booking, request special KC Pride pricing, or click the link on the KC Pride website. Also, for up-to-date festival information or to volunteer, visit www.kansascitygaypride.org.

This article was published in the May 2008 issue of The Liberty Press.

Remembering Glenn Burke

2008-05-30T14:56:00.002-05:00

This weekend kicks off many Pride events across the country, continuing through the month of June. As we begin this month-long celebration of who we are, I must take a moment and go back in time, to where we've been.

Today, May 30, is the 13th anniversary of Glenn Burke's death from AIDS-related causes. As a sports fan, many in the media continually ask, "When will there be a current player who comes out of the closet?"

If they'd done their research they would find that we've already had the first out player in baseball. We all know Billy Bean, but he came out after he retired. John Amaechi only came out a few years ago. Even the NFL has had gay players, but all post-career gays.

Burke is said to have invented the 'high-five,' a common exchange in any sporting even all around the world. He only lasted until he was 27 in the Bigs, saying that the prejudice finally won out.

He stayed active in sports, competing in the Gay Games in 1986, but soon turned to drugs, which would consume him until his death 13 years ago.

Burke didn't make it more than a few years in the Big Leagues, partially because of talent, and partially because being gay just wasn't going to be accepted.

I too await the second out gay athlete - a person who believes they are talented enough to be themselves while on the field of play. There are high school and college athletes all over the country who have been welcomed with open arms and its time it reaches the next level of pride.

As this month kicks off, let us not forget where the gay movement has been and the challenges we've overcome. But also, let's believe: better days are coming.

A Better Place

2008-05-26T21:29:00.002-05:00

Each and every day we should strive for a few things. 'What are they?' you ask...? I'm glad you did!

First, you should always do something for you! Whether that means reading a book, browsing a magazine that's been sitting on your coffee table for who knows how long, walk the dog, write a long-lost friend. Something for you that will make you smile and relax.

Second, you should do something that helps you achieve a goal or a personal dream you have. Do a little something each day to come just a little bit closer to that milestone you're reaching for.

Finally, you should do something good for the world. You should seek to make the world a better place.

Today in the United States we celebrated Memorial Day - a day of remembrance for all the men and women who have served and who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country and the ideals of freedom around the world.

For me - I try to make someone smile - to laugh just a little bit. That's my contribution to the world on a daily basis. I also recently bought re-usable bags to eliminate my need for plastic. That's my little green.

Thus the questions remain: What have you done for you today? What did you do to achieve your dreams today? But today - on this day - the most important question: What have you done for the world today?

Focus Your Life... Your Journey! (v1n4)

2008-05-23T11:36:00.002-05:00

Greetings everyone! For some of you - this is your first time seeing this 'Focus' blog posting. I post it around Thursday of every week - but if you want to receive this in your e-mail, use the form below!

It comes every Thursday morning (I keep your emails private) and it's a chance to receive someones life lesson and a thought from me. It can be used to help keep your focus at the end of a long week. It can build that last piece of momentum to finish the week strong. It can force you to focus on an aspect of your life that you've been neglecting. I encourage you to sign up today!

This Week's Lesson
The journey is to be enjoyed – when you reach the destination,
you see there is still one more platform ahead.
-submitted by Bob J. from Mason City, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
This week's lesson comes from a teacher I had years ago. As we caught up briefly this week, he said those words to me. I was telling him about how many presentations I've been giving and how busy, yet excited and energized it has made me.

His comment reminded me that we need to stop and smell the roses and enjoy the journey we're on. Especially now in this "Starbucks-on-every-corner" world.

This weekend we celebrate Memorial Day - a day honoring those who have fought for freedom's cause. While I urge you to take a moment to honor that, I also urge you to stop and smell the roses, look to the sky and enjoy the journey!

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A Company of One

2008-05-18T21:26:00.003-05:00

It's always fun to watch animals play. Or is it work? I'm never sure when watching a squirrel run around the trunk of a tree. Is that work for them? Or is their only job to harvest food so they can survive until the next spring when they do it again?

Then they do all that work then your friend Eric starts to chase one around and it runs into the street to get away from your crazy friend and gets run over by a car. Thanks Eric. Harvest time wasted. Should've been playing like the other squirrels.

Birds are just the same, although not many of them get run over... they just fly into windows at my office. In fact, there is this one bird who just has short-term memory or something because it lives in the tree just outside my managers office and I can't count how many times I've been in there in a meeting and it's flown into the window.

Oh, the life of being just one. But how lonely too. This past weekend, in Great Falls, Montana, there was only one graduating senior. Imagine if it was a seniors only prom and they had a "no stag" rule. Man would that guy be screwed. Even worse, the governor was there to give the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2008. All one of them and his four guests. Slightly embarrassing.

One is the loneliest number, isn't it? Just ask these people. A smoker: can't have just one smoke. A child: can't have just one dream. An alcoholic: not just one drink. My body: not just one injury, lets have five! Michael Jackson: well...[insert many jokes here].

I've had many moments of oneness: giving a speech where all eyes are focused on me. Being on the witness stand where one slip and I've perjured myself and then I'm the one on trial. Singing karaoke is an interesting moment of being one: "An Ass of Oneself" moment to be exact.

But alas, as much as we love being with our friends, running around the tree trunk like those squirrels, we are also driven to those moments of one. These are the moments where we are one with our thoughts and our emotions and in those moments we find who we truly are and we listen to what our heart says. I find that when I shut out the world and listen, I'm much better for it, but it's one of the hardest things I do - but I have to. I have to be one with me. Afterall, I have a harvest to prepare for so I can play with my friends.

Focus Your Life ... Prioritize! (v1n3)

2008-05-17T11:33:00.001-05:00

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This Week's Lesson
Place your family needs/celebrations/events at
the top of your priority list.
-submitted by anonymous from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Richard's Thoughts...
We are now entering the graduation and wedding season and if you're like me, you have weddings and birthday parties you're just not going to be able to attend. This week is my best friends' one year wedding anniversary and I'm sure you'll agree with me that we remember those moments more than how much money we made last year or how great the lawn looked.

On Monday, I was able to spend the day with the faculty and staff of Kirkwood Community College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and I was so encouraged by their excitement and enthusiasm for their jobs, I left with more energy and excitement to do mine.

I've said more than I'm supposed to, so I'll end with one final thought: Look at your plans for the rest of the week and ask yourself what you can add to your priority list, the fun list that isn't already on there - and then do it!

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Being Gay Is Legal

2008-05-15T12:56:00.006-05:00

This is an amazing day! I had no idea this ruling was going to come down and just five days after the gay wedding on Brothers & Sisters, the family drama on ABC television and a few weeks after the American Family Association went off the deep end about a gay story line on As The World Turns, now we see this landmark decision.

I can't get too excited that maybe this will have a ripple effect all across the country. I sure hope it will, but I'm not going to put the car in front of the train at this point. There will no doubt be appeals by right-wing groups and religious factions who think this is an attack on marriage. It is not.

It is a fundamental right of all citizens, guaranteed by the Constitution. A court deciding this isn't how I want it to happen. I believe in the government of the people, not seven judges behind a desk making interpretations.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. [...] But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security."

It is long past overdue that our elected leaders be the visionaries, the believers in the human spirit. This is a day to be celebrated, but also to refortify our belief that is fight, this struggle isn't over. It won't be over until LGBT people, young and old have the same rights, same protections, and same opportunities as every other person out there.

From Breitbart.com: "California's supreme court ruled that a ban on gay marriage was unlawful Thursday, effectively leaving same-sex couples in America's most populous state free to tie the knot in a landmark ruling."

The Associated Press article can be found at MyWayNews.
The main story can be found at Breitbart.com.

Focus Your Life ... The Three Ls (v1n2)

2008-05-13T18:26:00.001-05:00

If you're interested in receiving this email every Thursday morning, fill out the form at the bottom of this page and you'll be registered. Thanks! Be sure to pass this on to your friends as well!

This Week's Lesson
Enjoy life while you can. Do not take today for granted –
God gave you today to live, laugh, love,
and make a difference, so do it!
-submitted by Kristi H. from Kansas City

Richard's Thoughts...
Last week we focused on never stoping from the things that you care about in life.
This week we need to remember to enjoy life and all the trimmings! It's May which means
it's springtime: flowers and t-ball and tennis and walks with the dog at night.

Take some time this week and live, laugh and love.
Doing those three things will make a difference, so do it! Happy Thursday!

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Pay Me My Money Down

2008-05-06T20:57:00.002-05:00

Speaker Pelosi was at it again today. Or should I say, PAYlosi was at it again today?

She came out and said that President Bush was in "denial" about the state of the economy and that they should pass another stimulus package right away.

My thoughts are pretty simple. The first round of 'rebate' checks just went out last week. Give that a second to have an impact people!

My second thought goes back to my initial feelings months ago when this stimulus package was passed. I was 50-50 on whether I wanted it or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to getting $600 back, but my point is, it's a temporary solution and doesn't get to the root of the problem. That's why I don't like these stimulus packages.

But, I will spend it! What are you going to do with yours?

My plan is to put $300 down on my student loans and get ahead in my payments, and then invest the other $300. Any good stock tips out there? I'll take any ideas!

Focus Your Life ... Don't Stop! (v1n1)

2008-05-01T20:11:00.003-05:00

This week I started a weekly newsletter promoting the concept that each of us has lessons to share with others. It's the cornerstone of my motivational/leadership speech entitled, "FOCUS - Making the Most Out of You!" Below is a copy of this week's message.

If you're interested in receiving this email every Thursday morning, fill out the form at the bottom of this page and you'll be registered. Thanks! Be sure to pass this on to your friends as well!

Greetings & Happy May!

This Week's Lesson
Don't Stop!
-submitted by Nathanael Porembka of Cincinnati, Ohio

Richard's Thoughts...
Very often we discourage ourselves from our own ambitions. Whether
it is the weight of the world or our own expectations that we're not meeting, we stop going after our dreams. Don't! Never stop going after the things you love in life.

This past week I had the great privilege of speaking to a group of student leaders at Rockhurst University in Kansas City. During our time together they shared some of their passions and dreams with me, some of which started that day. I said the same thing to them I say to you - Don't Stop!

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A Flower Blooms...

2008-04-29T17:38:00.002-05:00

In a new feature I'm adding to this blog, I'm going to periodically take a picture and post it here for you to ponder. I took this picture about an hour ago and thought it would be a good start to this new series.

A Silence Broken

2008-04-27T20:34:00.003-05:00

For those students who participated in the National Day of Silence last Friday, you have my most heartfelt thanks. The Day of Silence began in 1996 and has grown in numbers each year. The event asks students and teachers to take a day-long vow of silence to symbolically represent the silencing of LGBT students and their supporters.

Well, I was first informed of a problem with this year's event from a contact in Iowa. After searching the news across the country, this event deserved my attention this evening.

Many organizations including the American Family Association and Americans for Truth have publicly called for protests to the event.

At what point are these 'adults' going to begin to understand what being tolerant means? Surely they don't really believe that honoring a person for who they are is wrong. It still amazes me that 40 years after Stonewall we are still here - fighting. This isn't even about marriage or legal rights.

The Day of Silence is to promote a safe school and build understanding. What parents and organizations like the American Family Association are promoting is hate and intolerance.

Groups like GLSEN and the HRC promote events like these to not advance the gay lifestlye, but to give information, to try to build safe schools were all students, gay or straight, tall or short, black or white can learn - safely.

Countless studies show that when students don't feel safe, they don't learn as well. It's also why depression and suicide rates are higher among gay teenagers than their straight classmates.

"Social activism does not belong in the classroom," added Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth, as reported on WorldNetDaily.

I have one comment for Mr. LaBarbera. If that is the case then we need to reverse desegregation. That's what Brown v. Board of Education was all about. It was social activism by lawyers and judges. Certainly, if there is anyplace that is built for social activism and is a perfect place for honest discussion and understanding, it is our schools. Even more important, this cry for understanding and acceptance is coming from those in school, those students who cry in silence for this most fundamental of rights.

The classroom is a place that must be protected and must be a place of high values and respect. It is time school boards, politicians, but most of all, students, gay and straight stand up to these organizations to stop their hate. With one voice we must stop hate in the schools. With one voice we must show the world that the students of today know how best to make the world a better place.

Maybe, just maybe the silence has been broken.

Who's The Boss?

2008-04-22T19:14:00.004-05:00

I remember the good 'ol days when an athlete would play for the love of the game and not the level of the endorsement or the money behind the contract.

Growing up I remember my brother and I throwing a tennis ball onto our roof and pretending we were batting in the bottom of the ninth in game seven of the world series. I bet if you polled all American adult males, 75% of them have had that exact dream. I also had the dream of playing in the Super Bowl and driving down the field, 99 yards with two minutes to go and throwing the game winning touchdown pass.

Boy if only I'd made it... that would be the day. I'd be the athlete all kids look up to.

I distinctly remember the day when the late Kirby Puckett signed one of the first multi-million dollar contracts. For him it wasn't about the money. It was playing a game he loved everyday. I knew had I had the talent I would have been just like that. Puckett was my role model.

Today's youth have this: A showoff, showman with a mouth and the wrong attitude in Chad Johnson.

He's holding out for some unknown reason. He's not coming to training camp, he's not going to play. Today, his coach said this, "I've stated our case with Chad. He has a contract through 2011. He's stated without an opportunity to go to a different team and a new contract, he wasn't going to play. I think he's a man of his word and says he's not going to play, so don't play." Way to go Marvin Lewis.

The Bengals are terrible and it would help them tremendously to trade him away and get, according to reports is a pretty lucrative trade from the Redskins.

Since my days as a player are over, I dream of being a General Manager someday. My brother and I would run a tight ship, but we'd run a proud ship. We'd only hire people who want to play because they love the game and want to play like they did when they were kids, just tossing the ball and dreaming.

Johnson has forgotten what it means to pull on the jersey and lace up the shoes.

I hope the Bengals take a stand and don't get pushed around. He is being paid enough to do his job. He needs nothing more. Go to work, produce, and you'll be rewarded. I would understand if he was nearing the end of his career and wants to win a championship. Or if he's simply not fitting in.

Every time a professional team trades someone away because they ask to be, drives the culture of me. As a team, the Bengals can trade him away, getting rid of a bad employee, or holding his card, calling his bluff and making him honor his contract.

Because, at the end of the day, isn't a contract as good as a hand shake? Or the word of a man? And to a man when I sign my name, you're getting my honor.

WWII = Global Warming?

2008-04-17T18:41:00.002-05:00

The next issue of Time Magazine will look like this:

You decide whether this is appropriate or not.

Show 'em the Money!

2008-04-16T15:52:00.003-05:00

It has been reported by WCBS-TV in Waterbury, Conn., that students will soon be able to get paid for "passing AP (advanced placement) tests." (See story here).

I wrote about something similar back in January, Going Back to School, and I again, don't understand where and why we're paying kids to learn.

It boggles my mind that this new initiative, funded by the National Math and Science Initiative which, based on their website it funded primarily by private organizations like ExxonMobil and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, would pay kids for doing well on the exams.

Isn't entrance into an Ivy League college enough? A college scholarship? The opportunity to go to college?

What value do we place on education when going to school is something we can get paid for?

Grow Up To Be A Child

2008-04-13T15:30:00.001-05:00

When I speak to groups and organizations, one of the stories I tell is of a life lesson I've learned. About eight years ago I met an author of a teen leadership book. After his presentation, I purchased his book and had him sign it. He wrote, "Grow up to be a child." I always thought it was interesting and cool to think and live like that but never really let it sink in.

For me, it began to sink in a year ago. I went to a park and went swinging on the swings again. Then I tried to fly a kite last fall. I was finally growing up - growing up to be a child.

I was recently in one of my favorite local coffee houses and nearing the end of my hour of solitude when this father and daughter came in. They were an ordinary father - daughter tandem and no one even looked up from their laptops (of which I counted five of the 12 people had theirs on. I mean come on! You can check your e-mail at home!)

The father placed their order, putting the little girl on the ground while he paid. Right next to the register was a poster of puppies that were up for adoption. I've seen this poster many times, but because I can't have a puppy, never looked at it like she did.

She is a child. She saw the pictures and was captivated. She saw cute little furry puppies. Then she let the place know it.

She started barking like the puppies. "Bark! Bark! Bark!" she... barked.

Growing up to be a child is a wonderfully liberating thought. It's not a bad or negative thing either. It's about relishing the small moments.

When this little girl saw the poster of puppies she saw the cute animals that bark. I'm sure had the poster been cows she would have said, "Moo!" If the poster had been cats she would have said, "Meow!" Chickens, "Gobble, Gobble!"

It was on this quiet Saturday morning that we were all treated to a lesson from a child: grow up to be like me.

Only Birds Fly Cheaper

2008-04-06T17:00:00.001-05:00

Well, for the first time in my life, I have been a member of a company that has gone under. Okay, being a 'member' might be a stretch. I didn't own stock and I wasn't on their board or anything, but I was a customer. A customer with remaining clout in the company. Skybus Airlines became the third airline in North America to cease operations in the last week. They joined Aloha Airlines and ATA Airlines.

Aloha operated in Hawai'i for more than 60 years and ATA had operated for 35. Skybus would have hit one year on May 22, 2008. Unfortunately, even with over $150 million in start-up capital, Skybus was unable to see their business plan to fruition.

As a frequent traveler on Skybus I had the unique experience to see this model in action.

What was good about them? They were cheap. There were often called the "Greyhound of the skies." That they were. I liked that. I liked that they flew me where I wanted to go. I'm a guy who just needed to get from one place to another. I didn't need the frills.

However, I didn't need the constant reminder that I needed to buy stuff to keep this business afloat. I didn't like the constant, 'buy this', 'buy this', and you get the picture. They were also notoriously late on the legs I'd fly. They also didn't have customer service. You couldn't call them for help or questions. While I understand this was to keep costs low, customers value customer service; at least I do.

Skybus had a rapid expansion plan, but had begun to scale it back in recent months due to what they said were, rising fuel costs and a down economy. But they were doing well.

It was reported on 27 February in USA Today that Skybus had bumped Southwest Airlines from number one (in numbers of passengers) at their hub at Port Columbus International Airport. It was working.

Here's some food for thought:

Look at the picture on the left. "Skybus Airlines sponsored by Nationwide Insurance."

Imagine a Skybus flight had crashed. Interesting what that would have looked like for Nationwide.

Just a thought.

With the closure of Skybus, this business model will be all but dead. It had been tried before.

As for this passenger, I'm saddened for two reasons.

I needed those flights to get me to Cincinnati at a cheap price. Also, I had two outstanding purchases that I'm hoping my credit card company will refund for me. Otherwise, it's a loss of $241.

The collapse will hurt Port Columbus and the 450 employees who were employed by Skybus.

Now the birds fly for free.

Finney County Attorney calls gays "unlawful"

2008-04-06T11:28:00.001-05:00

This story appeared in the April 2008 issue of Liberty Press.

Garden City, Kan. - Students at Garden City Community College (GCCC) were given quite a presentation on January 30. In response to a sexual assault on campus, the college invited Finney County Attorney, John Wheeler to give a talk on sexual offenses, prevention of such offenses, and procedures to follow after an offence has occurred.

To the surprise of some in the over 100 students in attendance, Wheeler made the following statement during his presentation: “Homosexuality is a crime in Kansas.” His PowerPoint slide, obtained through a student showed the word ‘unlawful’ in all capital letters.

One student was visibly shaken and voiced her concerns about the message.

Kristie Stremel, a musician from Kansas City and a newcomer to GCCC, took offense to Wheeler’s comments. “I just wonder why he’d bring up a law like that. The Supreme Court has found those laws unconstitutional. But he still felt the need to tell the gym full of students that it [homosexuality] is a crime in Kansas.”

Stremel sent e-mails to friends, one of her professors and the media expressing her outrage.

“I’m not used to going to lectures and hearing stuff like that,” Stremel said.

“I came full-circle into the gay world when Mr. Wheeler made those comments. If there was a kid in the audience who was uncomfortable with his/her sexuality that comment must have been devastating.”

The sodomy law that Wheeler was making reference to is still technically on the books in Kansas, but is effectively unconstitutional based on the Supreme Court’s ruling in Lawrence v. Texas (2003).

Kansas City Lesbian, Gay and Allied Lawyers issued a press release saying, “The Lawrence decision rendered both the Kansas […] sodomy statutes unconstitutional […] Mr. Wheeler’s statements were misleading and wholly unsupported by the law.”

Not only did the Lawrence decision overturn the Kansas law, it was effective in overturning similar laws all across the country.

Stremel believes the presentation has had the opposite intended effect of providing accurate information to the students. “I think it’s agitated the college’s student body. The next week in class students were verbally gay bashing.”

Many of the local papers picked up the story and the controversy that ensued.

In the Hutchinson News on Feb. 13, Kansas Attorney General spokeswoman Ashley Anstaett was quoted as saying, “a ban on consensual sex between two people of the same sex is ‘on the books.’ But any case made based on that would be found to be unconstitutional.”

Wheeler later appeared on local radio station KIUL and said of the firestorm created by his comments, “I made the statement, and it is in fact, in my opinion, accurate that sodomy still remains defined as criminal on the books in Kansas. My purpose in giving these presentations isn’t to give opinions on laws. One person took offense at that as if I was attacking and expression opinions; I have no such feelings in me.”

As for Stremel, she is still making her voice heard. “A lot of people can’t come out of the closet. There are a ton of gay people in Garden City. They are teaching our kids, policing our streets, they are professionals. They can’t come out of the closet because they are scared and comments like this just make it worse.”

Speaking of the GLBT students who may have attended Wheeler’s presentation, Stemel said, “They are not criminals. Everything about them is okay.

“I hope some good comes of this,” she added. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”

Web Fun

2008-04-03T19:48:00.002-05:00

I've been busy this week updating my various websites and launching a site for a client (www.responsibleethanol.com) < - - check it out!

I've also been painting this week and should have final product by next week.

Hope all is well for everyone. I will post something grandeur this weekend.

Always - Richard

DCAP Hires New Leader

2008-04-03T19:27:00.001-05:00

*This story was published in the April 2008 issue of Liberty Press

Lawrence, Kan. - The mission of providing support for communities affected by HIV/AIDS has brought Elena Ivanov to the Douglas County AIDS Project (DCAP) as their new Executive Director.

As Executive Director, Elena will be charged with ensuring the organization and all its volunteers work towards fulfillment of their mission. She will be responsible for directing the day to day programming efforts, coordinating the agency’s programs and their fundraising efforts.

Having graduated with her Masters in Public Administration from Kansas University in 2001, Ivanov is very familiar with DCAP and its mission. Her extensive background in community service as well as case management will undoubtedly enhance DCAP’s ability to achieve their mission within Douglas County.

“For the past five years, I have advocated for people with disabilities and committed myself to do whatever it takes to get these individuals the quality of life they deserve,” Ivanov said.

Even though HIV/AIDS has been in the public’s eye for nearly three decades, Ivanov believes there is still a lot of education that needs to be done. With more than 33 million people infected with HIV and with no cure on the horizon, DCAP takes its mission very seriously.

“It’s all about education to me,” she said. “As much as we can provide the prevention services, communication is the best way to change the outcomes.”

With the rising cases of HIV and the need for more education, DCAP will make a bigger push this year with their workshops designed to help parents keep both an open door and an open mind when it comes to sex.

By joining the DCAP staff, Ivanov has again surrounded herself with a caring staff that is wholly dedicated to helping those in need; both emotionally and physically.

“I would like to just help people – anyone who cannot advocate to their full extent – and assist them to help them have choices, how to become self sufficient and have a high quality of life,” Ivanov says of her personal mission.

Ivanov began to take interest in the HIV/AIDS epidemic when she first heard about the dramatic case of Bulgarian nurses being wrongly convicted of deliberately injecting hundreds of children with tainted blood in Libya.

“I felt bad about the infected children and their family and started educating myself on the topic,” Ivanov said.

Since its inception in 1989, DCAP has provided the community with free, confidential HIV testing, case management and education and outreach.

“I believe that the smallest good deed we all do to help HIV affected individuals is better than the grandest good intention anyone can have. Together we can stop this dreadful disease.”

Uncle Richard!!!

2008-03-27T10:25:00.003-05:00

Welcome to the family Victoria "Tori" Kathleen Renee Payne.

At 10:07 a.m. this morning my sister became the legal guardian... or better yet, became Tori's mother.

I can't wait to be the best uncle in the world!

Respect With a Blackberry

2008-03-25T18:39:00.003-05:00

Have a meeting tomorrow morning? Come in late, stand against the front wall and respond to emails on your Blackberry. How will you be perceived?

I recently had that experience and had this terrible feeling. It was beyond depressing.

First of all, if you're that important, please leave this meeting that you're not even paying attention to.

Secondly, it's beyond rude and inappropriate to be standing against the wall, let alone respond to emails during a meeting.

I read an article this morning referencing an Australian research project that says it's not simply a bad habit to be connected to instant messaging and Blackberrys. The research found that its a mental disorder.

The world won't end if you don't get back to the email right away. The world won't end if you're not at a meeting.

I love the opportunity to connect with all my readers from the United States, my home; but also people all around the world. But I also welcome a vacation I am planning for this fall. The destination is unknown but the more and more I live in this fast-paced world and in a fast-paced industry, the more and more I'm excited to take the vacation where the cell-phone is off the whole time.

Take a moment, take tomorrow night and don't check your email. Don't instant message. Do something for you. Enjoy the quiet of the night.

All The Women - FOCUS!

2008-03-21T20:58:00.002-05:00

This past week I had the good fortune of speaking at the Beyond Rubies conference in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. What an amazing group of women, young and old!

It was a joy to be with the boisterous group who enjoyed sharing their life lessons with not only me, but with each other. That's the reason for this message tonight. I'm hoping to start compiling a list of life lessons people have learned and sending them out as random thoughts, random quips to help push us all through our day. Please send one of your life lessons as a comment to this posting or email me your lessons! No lesson is too simple.

I urge all of you to spend some time this next week focusing on you! Ask yourself one simple question... "What have I done to achieve my dreams today?"

That question had been asked of me more than a year ago and here I am today - speaking to groups that I am passionate about, writing my story, working on three book ideas, and painting.

I'm living proof that you must chase your dreams... now!

I Am Listening

2008-03-12T20:49:00.006-05:00

I am writing this not as a journalist. Not as a reporter. Not as a supporter.

I am writing this column to stop hate. To stop bigotry. To stop the words that come from leaders that are hateful, degrading and despite their best wishes, destroying our country.

"The homosexual agenda is destroying this nation," Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern (R) said. "I'm not gay bashing."

I don't mind someone having a problem with homosexuality. I don't mind someone voicing their religious views. It's their right and their solemn duty. It is also my just duty as a patriot to stand up for her right to speak her mind.

I will not however do so in manner that is not befitting a leader. That's where I draw the line.

Kern also said that being homosexual has deadly consequences, causes more suicides and more illness, that life spans of homosexuals are shorter and that homosexuality is not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

Being gay can have health risks, just like being straight. I'm not naive to think that everyone knows all the facts about HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. I do know that disease does not discriminate. It will find any host, any way to survive and kill.

I do know that homosexual teenagers carry a heavier burden than their straight counterparts and this does lead to higher rates of depression and suicide among teenagers. But there is no evidence that says that being gay makes you more likely to kill yourself over the course of your life.

Kern continued: "I honestly think its the biggest threat even more so than terrorism. [...] They are going after two year olds [...] they want to get our young children."

If, at this moment I was see Mrs. Kern, I might just lose it. Never have we as people, a group of gay people every thought that we needed to indoctrinate others. Throughout the course of world history, there have been gay artists and leaders. Recruitment doesn't happen. Being gay and proud does.

Kern introduced a bill in the Oklahoma Legislature last year that would have forced schools to notify parents of any and all clubs their children were involved in. "We have the GSA coming into our schools and their lives are being ruined," Kern said.

I wholeheartedly disagree. The lives get ruined when a young adult doesn't feel safe in their own school. Clubs like the GSA provide a sense of belonging and safety all across this country. Imagine a young man or woman who is attending GSA meetings at their school and their parents don't know of their child's orientation. It is not the school's job to inform parents of that information. That's how lives get ruined.

In an article posted at 365gay.com, Kern says, "What is wrong with me as an American exercising my free speech rights on a topic that is a very big issue today? Shame on the person who didn't have the courage to come and say, 'I'm going to tape you and put it on YouTube.'"

No. Shame on you Rep. Kern. Shame on you for creating an atmosphere of hate. Shame on you for using the First Amendment in this manner. You've torn it down. Shame on you for spouting incorrect information and passing it off as fact. Shame on you.

I urge all of you to not hate. To use the First Amendment to share ideas and valid opinions and bridge all of us a little closer together. We are after all, Americans.

*note: this link will take you to the audio of Rep. Kern's remarks. video

A Flower Just Blooming

2008-03-09T15:31:00.003-05:00

I have waited to write this column in hopes of finding some reason for the reason behind it. I haven't. Not through a conversation with my boyfriend. Not through reading articles and rehashing the murder of Matthew Shepard. There is no reason. There are no answers.

On Feb 12, 2008, Lawrence King was killed by his classmate. Lawrence was 15. His murderer was 14.

Lawrence, known to his friends as Larry was killed because he was gay. Put more simply, Larry was proud to be gay and wasn't afraid to show it.

Unfortunately, Larry joins a list of people whom we will never meet because they were killed; taken from us because they were different than the norm.

Larry didn't shove his homosexuality into people. He just found it impossible to not be himself. His true self. I applaud him.

I applaud him and so many like him who go to school and are either open about their orientation and get harassed both verbally and physically, or those who aren't open because they would know the repercussions. I applaud those who have stood up to persecution, oppression and obstruction just for the chance to be who they really are.

I can't stand hearing this same story. 'We should have seen the red flags.' 'We should have done something.'

Larry's killer walked into the classroom at 8:30 a.m., put the gun to the back of Larry's head, shot twice. Killed because he was gay.

The story isn't so simple. It has been reported that Larry had been hitting on his killer Brandon. That information led some in the school to brand Brandon as gay.

This leads to the question: Who is the victim and who is at fault?

Today the world weeps for Brandon. Weeps for children who can't understand love and affection. Children who aren't understanding.

Today the world weeps for Larry. For a life taken too soon. A flower just blooming.

You can see the most up-do-date news about Lawrence King at Google News
You can also visit a site started by Larry's family: RememberLarry.com

An American Response

2008-02-28T20:50:00.002-06:00

Today the fourth quarter gross domestic product numbers were released and to put it bluntly, they sucked.

According to the data, U.S. GDP slowed to a growth rate of .6 percent - a virtual standstill. It had been 4.9 percent in the third quarter.

I believe we can all agree the cause of this meltdown was triggered by the housing credit crisis; but it does not end there. I do not believe the worst of this is over. This credit crunch is going to ripple through virtually every sector of the global economy. It's time to come to terms with that.

Once it was apparent that the problem was originating in the credit sector, the Federal Reserve Bank cut key interest rates. In fact, they cut a key rate 1.25 percent in nine days. It was an unprecedented move in the last 50 years. They are again looking at an interest rate cut in the next few weeks.

The American government has acted as well. Through a week of public negotiations, a bi-partisan 'stimulus package' was created and will soon start to hit mailboxes all across America.
Besides the GDP proving the economy is screeching to a halt, there is a much bigger issue arising: Stagflation.

You hear it everyday: "The Dollar fell against the Euro." Our leading economists are seeing what hasn't been seen in almost 30 years. In various reports this week it has been reported the gas prices will creep towards $4 a gallon, food prices are going to climb - in some cases by 25 percent, and the dollar is going to continue to fall as is the value of your home.

Also happening, slow economic growth.

I am of the school that the world's economies exist in a system of cycles... a recession is bound to happen. I am also of the school that it can be made worse by policy. Not the White House and Congress (although they've added this time), but more so, the Fed.

I believe the American response would be to slow the influx of money into the current economy, hold the interest rates steady (as easy credit caused this crisis in the first place), and work to curb the inflation and once that happens, the stagnation of the economy will turn around.
The American response is to keep working, and let the system take care of itself.

The Time Is Now

2008-02-25T20:14:00.001-06:00

Good evening. Today marks the five-year anniversary of my electoral loss for Mayor of Mason City.

As the time has passed I have begun to cherish certain moments from those four months.

It was refreshing to meet so many wonderful citizens of Mason City who valued what I was saying.

It was enfranchising to hear that what I was saying and what I was standing for was important to so many people.

I have also looked back and realized certain mistakes I made along the way.

Our worlds are different now than they were then. I'm older. Wiser. Better looking. Smarter. Better prepared.

I would like to take this moment to thank the many friends who were with me throughout those crazy four months. You were with me then and I know you're with me now.

There is still a lot of work to do.

We have a world full of hatred and fear.

We have a government that continues to become a bigger and bigger part of our daily lives.

We have children not getting an education and parents not being held accountable.

We alone hold the power in our hands, to reach out to each other, to build the tomorrow we dream - today. And it can happen now.

The Time Is Now.

Determination Lands Landers Back on the Field

2008-02-24T13:26:00.001-06:00

This article was published in the February 2008 issue of Liberty Press.

She was well connected and on the rise. She had her own company, Miracle Media. She was still active in sports and was playing co-ed football for the Phoenix Hellraisers. It could be said that Landers was on her way to the top of the mountain, with nothing in her way.

On a day that seemed full of possibilities, she was sitting comfortably in her car on a nice pleasant drive through the heart of Arizona. But there was a sudden and unexpected change of plans in Casa Grande. This is where the mountain came crashing down. This is when she came home.

Growing up in Kansas City, Jennifer Landers was your all-American girl. She had the brains. She had the talent. A three-sport athlete at Tri-City Christian (Independence, Mo.), she was the standout. She even had the name that made you think, ‘white-picket fence.’

Following high school, she went on to earn her Bachelor of Arts in Communications from the University of Missouri in 1998. After working for a few years in Kansas City, she took off for a new challenge in Phoenix where a great life started to emerge.

In Phoenix, Landers built a life. Miracle Media was growing. She had clients like the professional basketball team the Phoenix Suns, and Major League Baseball’s Arizona Diamondbacks. She had a mortgage.

Instead of growing her business and expanding her career, a stroke of bad luck took away everything she grew to expect.

It was September 2005, and on that nice, calm drive through Casa Grande, Landers’ life changed forever. The accident itself wasn’t life threatening, but it landed Landers in the hospital. The ironic part is that she was there because she had been wearing her seat-belt. Diagnosis: bruised chest.

“It may have been a bruised chest,” Landers said, “but it felt like a heart attack.”

And it wasn’t the actual accident that changed Landers’ life, it was the aftermath.

Just one week later, Landers was back in the hospital. She was there to see her business partner who was having ankle surgery. That’s when things got worse.

“Growing up, I had been prone to skin problems,” Landers said. While visiting, the doctor noticed something wrong with Landers’ skin. It turned out to be Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus or MRSA. More commonly: “Superbug.”

Somehow while in the hospital getting treated for the bruised chest, Landers contracted MRSA. It is unknown how she contracted this strain, but many cases begin at the hospital or school. Athletes are especially susceptible.

According to the Center for Disease Control, nearly 300,000 people were treated in 2005 for MRSA, with an estimated 17,000 deaths. What makes this even scarier is that it is resistant to most antibiotics and can attack anywhere in the body. Living a high stress life only makes it worse.

Landers fought and fought but she couldn’t get rid of it.

“At one point, the doctors counted 120 places on my body with staph,” Landers said.

But she kept going and kept fighting. She was still traveling the country on business trips and on a stop in New Jersey, she found herself in the hospital again. “I was headed back to Phoenix [when] the flight attendants called an ambulance and I went back to the hospital,” Landers said. “I was basically ‘full blown’ and simply too bad off to fly.”

There was no way she was going to quit, but the staph had taken control of her entire life. She had no energy and her immune system was weakening. She lost her skin color and dropped weight. Even a small cold took its toll. With no energy she couldn’t work or play sports. Reluctantly, she closed the business she worked so hard to build.

The staph infection almost took everything away – including her life. But she’s a fighter and Kansas City gave it back. She returned to Kansas City last August and coupled with new treatment, Landers came back to life.

“My family brought me home which reduced a lot of stress,” Landers said. “Phoenix was nothing but perpetual stress.”

Beating the staph was no easy task. “I really think at the end it was mind over matter,” Landers said. “I wanted to live again.”

Living hardly captures what she is doing today. Defying the odds, her naysayers, and even medicine, Landers is now playing her first year of football for the KC Storm, the local women’s football team of the National Women’s Football Association.

“People tell me not to play,” Landers said. “But I may not be here tomorrow, so anything I want to do, I’m going to go and experience it.”

Founder of the Storm, Nance Wernes said that Landers’ enthusiasm is what stands out most. “She [Landers] has already established herself as a leader on and off the field. Her energy and enthusiasm are infectious.”

That infection, not the staph, the drive to succeed and enjoy life is shining through to her teammates. In losing everything in Phoenix, she seems to have found even more in Kansas City. Now back to work and in the best physical shape of her life, Landers is running towards her future with eyes wide open.

“There is too much to do to be done with it,” Landers said. And on top of that list: pull on the No. 22 jersey on opening night and prove that life is for living.

What's in a Name?

2008-02-21T20:19:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been bothered by conversations in the workplace about "branding." What is it and why is it important?

As someone who works in the public relations field and design and works with branding for a living, I know something about it. The general public does too. What happens is that sometimes, people can become so protective of what they think a "brand" is that they lose sight and start to hurt their own.

For example:
We all know this company. The top logo is their original brand. Now, today, they have the glossy, sophisticated, yet modern look we all recognize. A brand isn't about being recognizable. That's what public relations is about.

A brand says who you are - what you do - what you value.

Or this:
Google. Technological giant. They literally change their logo once a week. But take a note - a logo isn't your brand. A brand is who you are. With what they do with their logo, Google is saying, we are the internet search capital of the world - come join us - you'll be amazed!

One final example:
We all know this company. Sure, they have modernized their logo over the years, most companies do, but their brand is that you're going to get fast food and good food. (stop laughing.)

So here we are. Wondering - what is my brand? A brand is who you are. It's what you try to do.

The brand of this blog will soon be shifting. In the coming months it will be a few things. It will be my place to continue to rant and rave about current affairs. It will also be a place for me to showcase graphic design and advertising that I like, or for that matter, don't like. It will be a place to discuss fashion trends. It will also be a place where I will showcase some of my works.

That is my brand. A person who cares about a lot of things and cares about you! What is your brand?

"That's just obscene!"

2008-02-05T18:38:00.001-06:00

Look at this picture.

Oh my! Please avert my eyes!

Okay, I'm not serious... obviously. First of all, it's a great picture! Secondly, it's Abercrombie. It's their M.O. And finally, there is nothing obscene about it.

Well, the Virginia Beach po-po saw it differently. In the local store there, the police came in and confiscated the larger than life photo.

However, today the county attorney has dropped the charges against Abercrombie, citing the inability to prove the obscenity claim in court.

Abercrombie isn't new to a courtroom. In 2004 they paid $40 million to settle a lawsuit about hiring practices.

They are constantly under fire for their photos and their advertising campaigns that market to 16-23 year olds. I have never felt like their photos were obscene. Would I want my 14 year old looking at them, not really, but it's the real world.

My biggest problem - - how does this sell clothes? It does because it is who they are. They are hot. They are toned. They are Abercrombie.

The Steal

2008-02-02T16:21:00.000-06:00

This past week, the Minnesota Twins did three things (in no particular order): (A) proved they can’t run their own organization, (B) gave away the best pitcher in Major League Baseball, and (C) screwed all their fans. Well… maybe all three of those things are the same.

Former Minnesota Twin, now New York Met, Johan Santana agreed Friday to a record deal for a pitcher: $137.5 million for six years. Granted, the Twins couldn’t pull that kind of bank. That’s not the point.

The point is that during the Winter Meetings, the Twins had two much better offers on the table and didn’t take either of them.

The only plus to sending Santana to the Mets is that he is in the National League now. That’s the only plus!

Now… for the negatives.

They gave Santana away for four prospects. Prospects! Outfielder Carlos Gomez “Gomer”, and pitchers Philip Humber “The Lumber”, Kevin “Mulva” Mulvey, and Deolis “Devoid” Guerra.

These guys are nobodies.

What were the Red Sox offering two months ago? Depending on the deal, the Red Sox were prepared to offer Jon Lester, Coco Crisp, Jed Lowrie, and Jacoby Ellsbury – All-Star talent all.

What about the Yankees? At least Phil Hughes, Mulky Cabrera and a midlevel prospect.

Oh right – the Twins wanted four guys who aren’t even highly thought of. In the real world, these guys would be the “Throw-ins” of a trade; they would be the final piece of a mega-deal. Not the deal itself!

Back to the task at hand: A, B, and C.

The Twins said with this deal that they screwed up at the Winter Meetings so bad that they had to take arguably the worst offer on the table. With the four guys they did get in the trade (aka: the steal) they have four guys to plug into their already terrible lineup. And by literally giving Santana away, they gave away all the tax dollars being spent on the new stadium, all the fan support that Terry Ryan, Kirby Puckett, Tom Kelly, and Joe Mauer have fought so hard to build and sustain.

Thank-you Minnesota. You just gave the sports world a reason to make fun of you – again.

Going Back to School

2008-01-24T21:42:00.000-06:00

Hello?

Yes, I'd like to enroll in the Fulton County Schools After-School "learning program." (finger quotes added in private.)

Yes, we've had a lot of interest. What is your child's name?

Who said anything about children. I'd like to expand my knowledge and I could use the extra cash.

Click.

The Fulton County Schools will soon run a pilot program where they will pay kids to learn. Yes, you heard that right: Pay kids to learn! (read the story here)

Since when did the United States become the land of pay kids to learn. Shoot, I would have stayed in school my whole life.

But I digress. Who is to blame for this?

Defendant: The System. Our education system is broken. It has been for a long time. I do believe for the same reason I did then, that No Child Left Behind, NCLB, was the right legislation at the right time. For years, nothing had been done at the national level to stem the erosion of our education system. The new laws, I believe give students who do want to learn, a better chance to do so, and in a better environment. I also believe it places and unfair burden on the schools to teach kids who maybe, just don't want to learn. More reform is needed, but we're progressing. Higher education is so expensive now, it's no wonder the students at Fulton have to be paid to learn - because in a few short years, they are going to be paying thousands of dollars to be taught by teachers who can't be fired and don't want to teach.

Defendant: The School. At least from my experience, it comes from the top. When the top of the chain doesn't enforce education, it doesn't happen. When parents control the powers that be, the students suffer. I know for a fact that there are some parents in this country who will go to the principal or the teacher and in a matter of speaking, demand a grade be changed. 'Oh, my Sally can't handle a B+.' No mom, it's you. The students of today are faced with increasing pulls on their lives. Homework - which I believe should be reformed. Part-time jobs - which take away from being a kid. Family - the trouble our kids face at home is staggering. The world. They live in a world far different than even the one I grew up in.

Defendant: The Teachers. In my academic career, I was fortunate to have teachers who really did care. I also had teachers who didn't. At the end of the day, I wish I had been pushed harder. Forced to learn more, question more, experience more. But... it's the system. They are underpaid. I also believe that if the powers the be would stay out of the classroom and back their teachers, real learning would take place. I remember an English teacher of mine and a history teacher of mine wanted to team-teach a class that combined literature and history. Verdict: no-go.

Defendant: The Parents. There are two things happening here. One, parents don't have the time to parent anymore. Two parents, two jobs. Parenting just isn't happening anymore. Even worse, when parents try, they are stymied by the world. Two, parents enable their children to be who they are: weak. The world is different and our students need to be pushed, challenged, tried.

Defendant: The Student. At the end of the day, a student needs to push themselves. For once they graduate or drop out of school, they will be on their own. Get your own food. Get your own job. Save your own money. Pay for your health insurance. At this juncture, how can I possibly blame the student when I already laid out the case against everyone above? But I will. The students get what they want, because they know they can, because the have their parents wrapped around their little fingers.

I believe in teaching our students humility, honesty, hard work, and pride.

The system must change or we are dooming ourselves to failure. While not catastrophic, it will be a failure of depressing proportions.

Of Chapped Lips

2008-01-02T16:55:00.001-06:00

‘Tis the season to be jolly. Crap. It’s over. Back to the real world. No longer am I able to sleep in and not write. No longer can I start a movie at midnight and start the next one at two a.m. Nope. The alarm went off at 6:40 this morning.

Now, here I sit, pounding on this keyboard and it’s like I never left. I just made my first cup of tea with my new tea kettle and here I sit.

There is still a Christmas tree with ornaments to put away. Oh, that reminds me, I have lights on the porch too. That can wait. Saturday.

I spent the last two weeks with two very important people in my life.

On three separate occasions I was able to meet up with my best friend, Asitha. We shared in coffee, a midnight ride around town, and a wonderfully fun holiday party with his mother and her friends. Okay, so the latter was a little awkward, but Sri Lankan food was served so I was there.

I then traveled to Cincinnati to see my boyfriend, Nathanael. We spent many hours on the couch watching movies, laughing, and crying. We did a photo shoot, did some shopping and I won Jenga!

All told, a great holiday with family and friends.

Now it’s back to the real world. And now my lip gets chapped.

There is no longer time for nostalgia. Just work. And it’s already piling on.

So, I’m going to end this drivel. What a great way to start the year: talking about nothing.

Saddle up friends, it’s going to be a great year!

The Perfect Season

2007-12-16T16:24:00.000-06:00

Forget the New England Patriots. This afternoon I saw the perfect season. The Miami Dolphins. Yup, you read that right. The very same Dolphins who started the day 0-13 and were on the verge of securing the first overall pick in next year’s draft. "On the Clock" they were chiming.

Oh, but on this day I found the team that will become the measuring stick for all future teams.

When I was growing up, I played Little League baseball and only one year did my team do anything in the post-season. That was the year my team placed second. I missed most of that post-season as my family took a trip to Chicago. Hmmm, does that say something about my baseball talent? I hope not. Oh wait... I was bad.

We were young then. We didn’t turn on each other when we were losing, but when you’re young, for the most part you just want to win and have fun. I still do want to have fun when I play anything. But I am ultra competitive and can rarely do something – just for fun.

Those 53 players and dozens of coaches who have endured 13 straight losses this season, 16 if you go back to last year, showed us what it means to be a team.

Rarely over the last 14 weeks have any of the players or coaches gone to the press to air the dirty laundry. None of this, ‘if they weren’t here’ or ‘he’s the reason’ talk. It’s been a team.

They played like a team. They lost as a team. Today, they won as a team. A whole team effort and with the help of misfortune for the other team, the Miami Dolphins finished their game today with a record of 1-13.

When Greg Camarillo crossed the goal line for the winning touchdown in overtime, the stadium was roaring, the players running around like they had just won the Super Bowl. Did anyone know that it was Camarillo’s first touchdown of his pro career? Or head coach Cam Cameron’s first win of his pro career? Or that at half-time the team and fans honored the 35^th Anniversary of the undefeated team?

Not after that touchdown.

These Dolphins are now my team. The team by which all teams should be measured.

The Right Man

2007-12-03T19:45:00.000-06:00

Eight years.

I have waited eight years for this chance.

Sadly, I no longer live in Iowa where I can make a difference. Sadly, the citizens of my adoptive state seem to not want him. Even worse, the country doesn’t want him.

But why?

It’s because he’s not a politician. He’s a man. He’s a clean-cut, honest, hard working man. He’s a former POW. He’s a member of the “Greatest Generation.” He’s a hero. He’s my guy.

I am firmly behind the Senator from Arizona, John McCain in this Presidential election.

Eight years ago, I believed America needed a hero to lead us. Today I feel the same way, but for different reasons.

Senator McCain is the most honest politician I have ever met. Even he knows it.

‘Straight Talk Express’

I loved that bus – because it was and still is true. I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting Senator McCain and asking him one of the most pressing questions of our time. I asked, “So why haven’t you all done something about Social Security?”

He looked at me, straight in the eyes and with a heavy heart, “Because we are scared.” He continued to say that it won’t be fixed before 2009 because there is an election coming up.

I remember recently former Senator John Edwards, who in my opinion was a Senator because it was a cool thing to do and it can lead to me becoming President; he said, “Americans want a President with bold ideas.”

That statement made me laugh. If I recall, President Bush has proposed some bold ideas only to be rebuffed. Nonetheless, President Bush became my choice eight years ago by default. He became my choice four years ago because of desire.

Now, I have the real choice I wanted eight years ago. At this point, if I had to vote tomorrow, I would walk into the voting booth, fill in the circle for a write-in and proudly take my pencil and write, “J o h n M c C a i n”.

He’s my guy. He’s my guy for my generation and the next.

David Brooks of the New York Times described McCain as the only great man from either party in the race.

Debra Saunders of the San Fransisco Chronicle wrote yesterday, “As McCain said of his support of the Senate Immigration Bill, ‘I came to the senate not to do the easy things, but the hard things.’ But do voters want the hard things?”

It appears not. They want clean, perfect candidates. They want people who have never learned from their mistakes. They want career politicians who are there because they think it’s a cool gig.They want tested answers and polls for laws to be passed. They want Clinton, Guiliani, and Hucka-hoo?

My man is McCain. The Right Man.

Just Another 'Reality' Check

2007-12-01T00:27:00.000-06:00

Poor American Idol. Poor reality television. Poor mother. Poor us. Television sucks… end of column.

Before I go on my tirade that has been building for three months, I must say, I do watch some reality television. But that doesn’t stop me from saying that giving the right cast, the right story, the right time, and a slow trigger finger, we can again have a Seinfeld.

The bottom line is that reality television is funny. Now, those ‘winners’ get to be the basis for my anger today.

Was it possible to sell worse than Taylor Hicks’ debut album? I didn’t think it was possible, but season six Idol winner, Jordan Sparks’ debut album is doing just that.

I have been a ‘fan’ of Idol, if for nothing else than the fact that it has given us a few great artists in Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry. But I much prefer when they make fun of people and it makes me feel better about myself.

Reality television does that. We all watch Big Brother or Survivor and say, “Oh, I would never do that!”

Really? You wouldn’t stab a friend in the back to win?

Oh sure, maybe it’s not stabbing so much as it is not returning phone calls or emails. Same difference.

I digress…

Looking the list of recent reality programs is staggering: Laguna Beach, Real World, Road Rules, The Simple Life, Nike and Jessica, COPS, The First 48, Idol, Big Brother, Deal or No Deal, Project Runway, Top Design, The Mole, and The Contender.

I’ll admit that I watch a few reality programs. I have long since been a fan of American Justice and the First 48; what can I say, I just love the law in order. I used to watch Survivor and attended three Survivor parties. I now watch Project Runway.

Back in the 1960’s, game-shows were all the rage on television and that led to the 1990’s and the rise of situation comedies and hour-long dramas. Oh, those were the days.

Must See TV. The 1995 ‘Must See’ lineup was this: Friends, The Single Guy, Seinfeld, Caroline in the City, ER. What a night that was.

Now, it’s hard to find a quality mental release on television. Shows are canceled before they even have a chance to find their niche, their audience.

Imagine if NBC had done to Seinfeld what it has done to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Joey in recent years. 60 was a great comedy that NBC literally gave up on after six episodes. Joey was just a terrible production but a great concept. Then you have a show like Jericho which was canceled, only to be re-called because their fans were “unhappy.” Screw that. I have been unhappy for years!

I bet you didn’t know, but after the Pilot episode of Seinfeld was aired, NBC offered it to FOX, to which they passed.

I’m simply tired. I’m worn out. I need some entertainment. I need that release. I need Monica to be so crazy about the cleanliness of her apartment that I don’t feel so bad about the water ring that has formed on the tea cup tonight. I want George to yet again get fired so I don’t feel so bad about my own professional career. I want Robert and Ray back so I can watch my family in action.

But I will turn on the television tonight and find the NBA on ESPN because they find that to be more appealing than the Davis Cup Final between the United States and Russia.

Oh, the loss of my television. What is a man to do?

No Free Meals

2007-10-30T18:49:00.000-05:00

It’s moments like these I remember why I support the Republican Party more than the others.

In the last week, former Senator John Edwards went on the offensive, pledging to spend countless millions, if not billions of dollars on programs aimed to close the gap between his ‘two Americas.’

I do not sit here on my high rock and claim to disagree that there are two Americas. No. I would venture to say that there are 100 Americas. Note the following list:

Rich. Poor. Handicapped. Educated. Homeless. Frugal. Talented. Addicted.

It is my contention that Edwards is of the Rich, Educated, and Talented America.

He is rich because he chased ambulances and sued doctors to the point where they can’t practice medicine. He is Educated because he worked hard and earned his way into college. He is talented because he honed his talent.

The Senator said that among other things, the federal government should underwrite universal pre-kindergarten (which I strangely support), create matching savings accounts for low-income people, mandate a minimum wage of $9.50 and also start a government-funded public higher education program called, “College for Everyone.”

Oh but wait… it gets better. The Senator said, “There are no free meals.”

Well Mr. Never-Going-To-Be-President-Because-You-Think-You’re-God’s-Gift-To-The-World, your plan to create savings accounts for low-income people… and not only that, but matching savings accounts, goes against fundamental capitalism.

After World War II, the New-Deal created Social Security; it was then and still is a federal savings account which I lose money in every year. So, why does the Senator want to create yet another savings program? This savings account for low-income families will not solve the poverty problem. I am generalizing here, but the families this would affect, for the most part don’t try to get out of their situation, live a life of drugs, sex, and violence and create this world for themselves. Forgive me if that ruffled your feathers. I’m just telling it like it is.

Bill Cosby is on a crusade across the country touting his three-year research project in which he found that the young Black community should not beg for a hand-out, but make the changes in their own community.

The fundamental difference between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party is simple: Equality of Opportunity vs. Equality of Outcome. I believe in opportunity.

We are here in America and yes its tough. I grew up in a one-income family that was quickly turning into a two-income world. I paid for half of my college. I bought my car. I rent my own apartment. My parents helped me along the way, but I am the one who got the job in high school and taught myself how to save money.

The last thing our ‘two Americas’ needs is handouts, a free hand. Better yet, a free meal.

We need education. We need after-school programs that can give kids hope. We need to extend a helping hand of kindness and compassion; then and only then can we move forward to a meal at the same table.

You Said... What?

2007-10-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

The President of the United States loves seeing people get their heads blown off.

Who cares? So do I!

Oh wait, President Bush isn't Jigsaw.

Oh wait, neither am I!

Hmmm, now we find ourselves in quite a conundrum. Increasingly I find myself disliking Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, less and less.

I know you're thinking, "Did I read that right?" Yes, indeed you did. But I didn't say I like her any more. There is a difference. Her public speaking skills are... rudimentary at best. When asked a question in a recent press conference, I watched her say the same three words, in a row, back-to-back. Oh, and the blinking, her eyes were closed more than they were open... they were open.

But wait, I'm getting off track.

On Thursday, on the House floor, Rep. Pete Stark said, that among other things, soldiers "get their heads blown off for the President's amusement." Yes, you did in fact read that right.

Obviously Rep. Stark went off the deep end. Speaker Pelosi 'rebuked' those comments today. While I don't like all that Speaker Pelosi stands up for, she does do some good things.

Here is an idea for the final legislative session of President Bush's tenure as President of these 'united states'. Work to build a coalition. Work with the White House. Force President Bush and his clan to work backdoor deals, to agree that while we may not agree 100% on Social Security or taxes or gay marriage, we can agree we must find reasonable solutions. This is Speaker Pelosi's moment and politics shall stand down.

Recently on "Meet the Press", former Senator John Edwards said that electing a democrat to the White House would ensure that "bold ideas" would be set forth. Yes, you heard that right too.

I believe if history serves this President Bush correct, he stood up for many bold ideas, only to be shut down by politics.

As this session winds down, Speaker Pelosi and her party and President Bush and his 'party' have a mission and a moment. Now is the time for American heroes.

I'm sure Jigsaw has something to say on the matter, but lets wait for the movie.

Extraodinary

2007-10-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

The one and only legal gay marriage in Iowa celebrates 32 days today as being the beacon of hope for Iowans; that they too will one day be able to marry. Of course, this is old news. I don’t usually get fired up about religion or gay rights, but driving back from a meeting this afternoon, I happened to stop on a Christian radio station because the topic sounded interesting.

Five minutes later I am still going 75 MPH but this time I am also writing notes furiously in my notebook while still driving and watching for my exit. Oh, and watching the State Trooper behind me.

I have since spent the rest of the evening researching the topic of the day for the Christian Right: Miller Brewing Company. I first stopped on the station because the commentator and callers were blaming Miller Brewery for the decline in our nation: unwed mothers, single parents, etc. They had my attention.

It’s not Miller Brewing Company’s fault that people drink and drive, no more than it is the National Football League’s for kids wanting to play tackle football during recess. It just happens.

The show then turned to the Folsom Street Fair this past weekend in San Francisco. While it’s not my kind of fair, it’s a fair for a select sector of our society who aren’t violent or spreading hate and should thus be granted the right and privilege to do so.

According to the Folsom Fair Website, “Our [Folsom Fair] mission is to create world-class volunteer driven leather events, providing the adult alternative lifestyle community safe venues for self-expression, emphasizing freedom, fun and frolic, while raising money to benefit San Francisco charities.” Sounds good to me.

Here comes the problem. Apparently Miller, the title sponsor, created an advertisement in bad taste. I have read about it and I agree: It should never have been approved. Nonetheless, the advertisement isn’t what the Christian Right is calling it.

On Catholic Online, Beth Gilinsky of the Jewish Action Alliance says, “This kind of vicious anti-Catholic and anti-Christian behavior may fall under freedom of speech or freedom of assembly, or even some form of low-class ‘entertainment,’ but one would hope that a major American corporation such as Miller would display a good deal more corporate responsibility and leadership regarding the destination of their community support dollars.”

If this American company wishes to support the Folsom Street Fair, they have every right to do so. Just because their attendees happen to like leather, et al., doesn’t mean it is any less valuable to that community than other non-profits.

While I can’t speak for Miller, I would venture to guess that ad wasn’t created to degrade Christians, but rather play to the crowd they were supporting. Wrong as it may be, it wasn’t an attack on Christians.

It is funny though. The radio host said, ‘Christians are to be extraordinary and not to succumb to social norms.’ It would be interesting to find out how many Christians have hateful thoughts in their heads? How many Christians have killed others in the name if their God? How many Christians protest the love their children show to their same-sex partner? Shouldn’t Christians be extraordinary of their view of religions different from theirs, of murderers, of those who differ from them? But alas, this isn’t the case.

The Senate’s passage of a defense spending bill last week with a hate crimes amendment attached brings this to light. The Christian Right doesn’t support the hate crimes bill.

The Christian Post cited a comment by Richard Land, President of the Southern Baptist Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission, “It’s called blind justice for a reason,” he added. “It is why the symbol for law is a blindfolded woman holding the scales of justice. It’s called blind justice because justice should be meted out based on actions, refusing to take into account the particular identities of perpetrators or victims.”

I recall being taught that love is blind to; that we should love our neighbor as ourselves. Until we can adhere to that fundamental teaching, I don’t think any group should protest a law designed to protect those who are different.

On the same radio show, the host also said, while talking about defeating a local school-board push to add homosexuality to their sex-ed curriculum, that by bringing hundreds of Christians to the meeting, it caused the issue to become ‘too hot button’ for the board to talk about. Shouldn’t we as a ‘democracy’ wish to talk about these ‘hot button’ issues?

If you kill a man just because you wanted his wallet, it instills fear in everyone for a time. Then we go on and live our lives without that fear.

If you kill a man just because he is black, it instills fear in only the black population for life. That’s why the hate crimes bill must be passed. Until our citizens, from the Folsom Fair crowd to the Christian Right see that, see that love is love, that hate is hate, and that one is better than the other, we need laws to protect those who are unique. Those who are different. Those who are, in a word, extraordinary.

Stories mentioned in this column:
The Christian Post
Folsom Street Fair
Catholic Online

News Flash: Homosexuality on Exists in America

2007-09-24T17:05:00.000-05:00

In case you all didn’t know, America is the only place where homosexuality exists.

Today in his speech at Columbia University, Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said, “In Iran we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. We don’t have that like in your country. … In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who’s told you that we have this.”

Do I dare ‘google’ this? Okay, you twisted my arm.

Wikipedia comes first. “Officially, homosexuality remains a crime under the country’s theocratic Islamic government. In fact, all types of sexual activity outside a heterosexual marriage remain forbidden, however it is debated to what extent these laws are enforced.”

It was widely reported years ago that two teenages were executed in 2005 for being gay. This account has since been questioned, but nonetheless, the boys were gay.

Homosexuality is not even recognized in Iran. No laws exist in Iran to protect homosexuals in Iran.

I dream of one day where homosexuals aren’t persecuted. In my backyard or in Iran.

Everyday I smile because I can be proud and open about myself but I also know someone else can’t. Some 17-year-old boy in Iran is just like I was, only this time, he is fearful for his life.

I support Columbia allowing President Ahmadinejad to speak today at their campus. Their state funding should not to be touched just because they allowed this man to speak. We live in a free country and should allow those who think differently from us to speak.

I don’t and won’t give this president a free pass to create fear and pain in those that just want to love.

The Seven Year Cruise

2007-09-08T17:05:00.000-05:00

*note – names have been changed

This week marks the seven-year anniversary of the day and the week my life and my former classmates’ lives changed forever. On 2 September, 2000, our classmate, our friend, my friend, Steven killed himself.

At the time, it was the first suicide I had ever been a part of. Three years prior to this event, I had worked with a non-profit organization to start a teen-suicide prevention program at all our middle and high schools. Through my research and my own depression, I knew this could one day be a problem for our small community. I was determined to not let that happen.

It lasted one year. Various doctors, who I will disagree with for my entire life, felt that by having the program, by talking about it, it was ‘advertising’ suicide and would thus lead to an increase. I have found that by not talking about the hard issues, we fail to stop them from becoming an epidemic.

According to the Center for Disease Control, there were 3,971 teen suicides in 2001 and over 132,000 suicide attempts in 2002, making it the third leading cause of death for those ages 15-24 in the United States.

On 2 September 2000, we grew up. At the time, it was the hardest thing we’d all deal with in life. We may have been right. Since then, two more boys from our class have killed themselves. Beyond that, we’ve lost Steven’s friends’ souls. One to drug addition. One to alcohol addition who became abusive.

In addition, Steven’s parents, Mr. & Mrs. Jones were on an Alaskan cruise at the time of their son’s suicide. Upon hearing the news, they flew straight home.

For seven years they have lived with a cloud over their hearts. This past summer, their oldest son got married. It was at that moment, a joyous occasion, that Mrs. Jones said the joy was back in their family.

Mr. & Mrs. Jones are currently on that Alaskan cruise. The same one, seven years later, to finish the trip they never did. To say goodbye to this chapter in their lives and live again. To live again.

On 2 September 2000, I lost a piece of my heart of my soul I shall never recover.

I pray no one ever has to feel the pain a suicide can bring. We must be pro-active to help those that can’t save themselves. Who can’t see love. Who can’t see joy. Who don’t see the sun, the stars, the moon and their own wonderful love they can offer.

This week I remember my friend Steven, those he touched, and those of us who have never forgotten. It’s been seven years since that fateful week and I promise I will never forget and never forgive myself, but I’m finding the joy. I’m finding the love. Find it. Be it. Love.

The Greatest Show on Earch

2007-08-24T17:04:00.000-05:00

This weekend will kick-off the US Open, the national championship of tennis. It’s a great two weeks, (weather permitting) of kids, nostalga and fierce competition.

Enough of the glitzy - there will be enough time for that over the next two weeks. Now onto my predictions.

There could be a few interesting matchups.

The top quarter of the draw holds Federer. ‘Nuff said. Even so, I believe while Federer will win this quarter, he will face one of my favorites and possible superstar, Richard Gasquet in the 4th round. Should Gasquet pull off the upset, he would face Andy Roddick; should he get that far, which wouldn’t suprise me if he didn’t. That said, the final for this quarter will be Federer versus Roddick. Edge: Federer.

The next quarter is the most wide open of them all. Andy Murray, the Scot who doesn’t trust his own wrist right now; Nikolai Davydenko, Marcos Baghdatis, and American Sam Querrey are the four favorites from this quarter. As long as Baghdatis doesn’t lose before the 4th round, he will make it to the quarters.

Had Leyton Hewitt not found his 2001 form in the past two months, Novak Djokovic would be the hands-down pick to win the third quarter. But now, I believe it will be a Hewitt - Djokovic clash in the 4th round. Edge: Djokovic. However, and this is a big however, watch the first round Djokovic - Mario Ancic match. This could be the biggest upset of the tournament.

Finishing up, the bottom quarter of the draw is arguably the weakest of them all. I won’t even waste energy trying to figure this one out. Ivan Ljubicic will represent this quarter.

So, the matchups are set. Federer versus Baghdatis in one semi-final. Djokovic versus Ljubicic in the other.

Federer versus Djokovic in the final.

Edge: Flushing Meadows.

We Are One Tonight

2007-08-22T17:03:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday night I had the great fortune to spend the day with two of my best friends at the Iowa State Fair and minus the heat and that fact that I was in pants, it was a fantastic day. It also ended on the perfect note: watching Switchfoot in concert.

I have been a huge Switchfoot fan for four years now and have now seen them perform twice; both times at the Iowa State Fair. The first time I didn’t know what to expect of my favorite band and then this weekend, the show exeaded even my lofty expectations.

During the show, Jon Foreman, the lead singer went into the audience during his second-to-last song and expressed to the audience the bands’ connection to the ONE Campaign http://www.ONE.org.

The ONE campaign is raising public awareness about the issues of global poverty, hunger, disease and efforts to fight the problems of the world’s poorest countries.One thing that Foreman said really struck me.

He said, “As Americans we have the ability to change the world.” I truly believe that. One of my friends who was with me this past weekend is the coordinator of a conference to be held at his college directed towards helping students and adults find ways to help and aid the situation in Darfur.

All rise
All fall
I’ll fail you allWe built these cities to stand so tall
We’ve lost our wallsI don’t want to lose it, coming down
With the whole world upside-down
I don’t have a soul to trust in now
With the whole world upside-down We are one, tonight!
And we’re singing it out!
We are one, tonight!
And we’re dreaming out loud!

The situation in this world is more tense than anytime in recent memory. The situation in this world is more complex, deeper, more troubled than anytime in recent memory. If recent memory teaches us anything it is that we don’t have enough information but that we do have enough hearts and minds.

If we want a more peaceful world we can get it. If we want a safer world we can get it.

No matter what party, no matter your ideology, surely we all agree in decency, love, pride and compassion. Those things are universal.

All throughout human history we are shown time and again that nothing can stop the human spirit. That sometimes, even in our darkest moments, we find hope. We find strength. We find the pride in ourselves and our own that we stand up, as one.

It’s these moments that have changed the world. It’s these moments that we rely on once again. It’s us as ONE that will make the difference.

I don’t want to lose a common ground
With the whole world upside-down
I don’t want to fight about it now
And the world was burning outLet’s slow the evening down
Slow it down
Slow down
Please slow down
Down
DownThe stars are comin’ out! We are one
We are one
We are one
We are one tonight
We are one tonight
And were singing it out

We are one tonight!
Tonight!

There is only ONE side to the issue of humanity. It’s the just one. It’s the right one. It’s the one that stands on the side of compassion of the human spirit – the never ending – never changing – never compromising drive to live and love.

We can all make a difference and as ONE we too can make this world a better place.

Tonight is the night we stand as ONE.

***To find out how you can help, please visit http://www.ONE.org ***

***The lyrics contained in this posting at from Switchfoot ***

Oh, to be a King

2007-08-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

This morning, later than planned, I returned from a wonderful vacation to Cincinnati, Ohio. Yes, I know you are thinking, ‘Cincinnati? How can that be a wonderful vacation.’ Well it is when you’re with amazing friends and have a great time and the time flies.

I could give you a rundown of the entire four days, but I won’t. Just a few notes that made all the difference.

Being the average person, middle-class, sitting in the airport terminal on a Thursday evening was a lonely experience. Until the United representative invited me to board the plane early. Why you ask? In a 30 seat plane, I was the only passenger. Yes, you read correctly. I was the only passenger. Needless to say, I received some pretty damn good treatment.

I didn’t received anything special during the lighting storm we flew through, sans the minor heart attack as the plane went through was could only be characterized as some pretty damn good terbulence.

Of course, the first-class treatment would be ruined on the return flight, by a 90-minute delay, which included 25 minutes on the tarmac. It happens, but not to me. However, when I arrived at baggage claim, my bag was right there which made up for the long morning.

The flight aside, the trip was great. I went to King’s Island on Friday with Nathanael, Andrew and Anna and a had a blast. It was especially enjoyable when Anna (in all her wisdom) let her phone fall out of her purse on ‘The Beast.’ Way to go. The best part of the park was the price to me. Zero! Andrew got us all in for free and on top of it all, we had VIP parking. Not bad for a bunch of 20-somethings.

Aside from almost getting sick twice, the day kept getting better and better and it ended with a great dinner at an authentic Irish pub. We had way too much fun eating and drinking and making jokes. It was just honestly, the most relaxed I’d been in weeks.

The second best highlight was Saturday on the way to lunch. Nathanael and I were walking, hand in hand down Clifton Avenue and I’m always nervous that someone will say something. But I try to remain strong. And I was proven… wrong. Someone did say something. They honked their horn at us, two boys, smiled, waved. An amazing, powerful, uplifting moment.

Finally, I attended my first professional tennis event. It was an amazing experience and one I hope to keep having. Aside from the heat, it was a treadmenously enjoyable day.

All in all, not bad at all. Was I a king? Yes I was. I had great food. Great friends. Great times. That’s the making of a king.

756

2007-08-08T17:01:00.000-05:00

It’s finally over. On a three-two count in the fifth inning, Barry Bonds hit a laser to right-center field, making him, ‘the asterisk’ the new Home-Run King. As a huge baseball fan and someone who respects athletics and the wonder it holds, last night was mixed with emotions. I grew up during the Puckett and Ripken eras. Those were the days. Now I’m a grown up and am willing to criticize and place the asterisk next to this record.

I will remember that on 7 August 2007, I was laying alone on my couch in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, watching Bonds trot around the bases, fireworks exploding in the background.

Major League Baseball Commissioner, Bud Selig was absent from the record, much like Ford Frick had been in 1961 during the single-season home run chase. But that was different, but quite similar.

In ’61, the debate was the length of the season. While I think the season is in fact too long and needs to be shortened by 10-15 games, that’s a debate for a different column. For now, I will go on the record saying that I believe Bonds, the new Home-Run King used steroids and would never have gotten to this point without them.

Major League Baseball dropped the ball hardcore on this, the tainted era of baseball that will forever by my history. Jose Canseco has written two books about the use of the juice in the majors. Ken Caminiti has admitted to usage.

Today as we look at this new record; will we ever know the truth? I hope so. It is said that Bonds never failed a steroid test.. .obviously. MLB was never testing for it. They turned a blind eye in 1998 during the McGuire - Sosa chase when news started to come out about McGuire’s Andro usage.

Our lives don’t change because of 756. But it’s sad. It’s a sad day for MLB. It’s a sad day to little league baseball. It’s a sad day for the truth. But Hank Aaron, in his taped message aired after the ball landed in the mob, said it best.

Aaron said that maybe this chase will inspire others to chase their dreams. Maybe, just maybe that’s why 755 fell. I sure hope so.

Our Eyes Made It

2007-07-31T17:00:00.000-05:00

I was recently shopping with my boyfriend Nathanael for a new coffee table. What a joy that is. We have sizes, colours, shapes, height, width, glass, tiles, storage, etc., etc., etc. Should I list another etc.?

Needless to say, I didn’t find anything that fit what I was looking for. There is always something about what I see that is just like, ‘Well, I would change this, or I would change that. Then it would be perfect.’

The great thing about interior or fashion design (as Nathanael says) is that no matter what you do, if you decide to do it, do it with confidence. I am currently designing a clothing line for athletes, most notably tennis players. I’m not sure when or if this line will ever be produced, but I am having fun with my concepts thus far. And the cool thing… is that I am designing it with the confidence design in mind. So long as I believe in the design, I can’t go wrong.

This leads back to the coffee table.

We shopped around a bit after finding a couch we both agreed on and set out to find the right coffee table. We were shopping in Target at the time and in the housewares sections and found these stainless steel storage boxes. We took two of them off the shelf, placed them on the tiled floor; not making any noise mind you; and imagined a piece of glass atop the steel.

Perfect. Unique. Me.

Then today I was thinking about the new place I might be moving into and the need for curtains and such and the idea came to me again. Design it myself! Of course, I can’t sew so I will have to enlist my fashion designer, but the curtains will be mine as well. Talk about interior design on the exterior of my life.

The Future of Energy

2007-06-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

I remember the days when gas was right at $1 per gallon. Those were the days. Fast forward to today.

On a Bloomberg.com article the appeared this evening on the Drudge Report, it has be estimated by Goldman Sachs Group Inc., a world-leading analyst company said that the world isn’t far off from $100 barrel oil.

The Blookberg article said, “Higher prices will increase revenue for energy producers from Exxon Mobil Corp. to PetroChina Co., while eroding profit at airlines including EasyJet Plc and railroads such as Union Pacific Corp.”

I believe the key thing to get from that is that energy producers will see increased profits. Last year alone Exxon Mobil had profits around $36 billion. If their profit goes higher and I start paying $4 a gallon at the pump, what’s a guy to do? Not travel? My job requires it. Thus I will still pay it.

But we as consumers have all the control we need. There are simply too many of us to keep being raped (pardon my French) at the pump. Yes, countries in Europe pay higher prices for gas, but it’s because their taxes are higher. Don’t think that is the answer.

The government with that money isn’t putting it back into research. That $36 billion needs to go there. The energy companies have an obligation to give us, the consumers the best product possible.

Right now, we have an outdated, unhealthy product and yet we all keep pulling in and filling up. Someday we’ll all understand OPEC, the world oil cartel. The definition of cartel: “association of suppliers to control prices.”

‘Nuff said.

The Decline of the NBA

2007-06-20T16:56:00.000-05:00

On the 19 June 2007, “Mike & Mike In The Morning” radio show on ESPN Radio, former NBA player Rick Barry made the point that I, an avid critic of the NBA have been making for years.

Berry said, “I respect LaBron James […] but it is astounding to me that they [the NBA] haven’t even taught him simple things he should be doing.”The conversation continued about the basic skills the NBA is lacking in their coaching.

The basic point Barry made was James’ lack of using a screen and that James has a basic flaw in his shot. I enjoy watching basketball, but the NBA isn’t a sport. It’s entertainment. The coaches, the trainers and the players don’t work hard enough to learn the game.

Look back to the days of John Stockton and Karl Malone and their patented pick ‘n roll. It was beautiful. The defense knew it was coming, but were powerless to stop it because of Stockton and Malone’s innate ability to read each other and break down the defense. That was the NBA back then.

Now, we are awash with tattoos, record deals, bench brawls, dunks and no defense. That’s why I watch college basketball and refuse to watch the NBA.

College basketball is littered with defensive talents. Going to the University of Northern Iowa, I recently saw the schools’ all-time blocking record be shattered by Grant Stout. That was and is basketball at its finest.

People bemoan the NHL for their lack of fan base and for the life of me, I can’t understand why the NBA thrives the way it does. It is simply bad basketball and bad business.

We Can Think For Ourselves

2007-06-14T16:58:00.000-05:00

It’s a good thing I didn’t hear it until 24 hours later, otherwise there would have been hell to pay.

On the 11 July edition of The O’Reilly Factor, the host, Bill O’Reilly who I consider to be one of the better television personalities around, completely went off the handle-bars.

To make a long story short, here is what happened. The San Diego Padres (MLB) hosted, as many professional sports teams do a special evening for the fans.

The first promotion was called, ‘Out at the Ballpark,’ celebrating gay pride. In that same baseball game, the Padres ran a promotion for kids 12 and under to get a free hat.

As a sports loving American, I can say I have been to my fair share of baseball games; high school, college, minor leagues and professional. At no time have I ever felt like I was being forced to look at anything.

O’Reilly thought differently of this particular turn of events. In his end of the show comments, O’Reilly said that this display by the Padres was, “insensitive […] dumb […] almost unbelievable,” to cluster gay men with children. I have many gay friends who live their lives like they are no different and are not ashamed to show who they are and the love they have.

Yes, the Padres brought attention to the ‘gay agenda’ but in all honesty there is nothing wrong with that. Look at sports history.

Robinson – African Americans start playing in the major leagues. Martina Navratilova – very openly gay tennis player. Billy Jean King – advocate for women’s sports. These athletes were pioneers and I see the same of the Padres.

Sandy Rios of the Culture Campaign was also on the show and said, “U.S. News & World Report came out with a study recently - - talking about how many teens are coming out younger, and more of them are coming out now. Is that what we want?”

In one word, Yes! Of course it’s what we want. We want our children, teens and adults to be proud of who they are and share that with the world.

Love is love and the world needs more of it.